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100 Funny Things to Ask Siri: A List of Questions & Commands

Updated on April 1, 2015
Fritz Isaacs profile image

Fritz is an iPhone enthusiast and part-time stand up comedian who enjoys writing on HubPages.

Funny Things to Say to Siri

The voice-activated personal assistant Siri lets you command your iPhone by voice. Practical applications include sending texts, making calls, and scheduling appointments—all by voice.

What's is also great about Siri is that she has a sense of humor. Have some fun and ask Siri ridiculous questions or give absurd commands. If she doesn't give you a funny answer on the first try, try again. The geniuses at Apple anticipated funny commands, so they buried some treasures—but sometimes you have to dig for them. Below are 100 funny things to ask or say to Siri.

Go Ahead, Give Siri a Try!

1. Tell me a joke. As you will discover, Siri is sophisticated enough to change her answers when asked a question repeatedly. Try this one a few times and see what happens.

2. What's up? With questions like this one (and "Hi" or "Hello") Siri often answers with a simple, "Hey there." Try asking more than once and see how she changes her answer.

3. Do you have plans tonight? Try this one several times. At first, Siri will search your calendar and tell you if you have any plans. Be persistent! Siri might reveal something!

Funny Questions for Siri

4. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck? This question will generate some surprising answers. Keep asking.

5. Do you think you're smarter than me? Then try, "Do you think you're smarter than I?"

6. Is it true that whoever smelt it, dealt it?

Siri Can Be Sweet

7. How do I look?

8. If you and an Android phone got in a fight, would you kick its ass?

9. Shut up! Try this one and see whether Siri actually says it, or the words just appear.

10. You are a rust bucket!

12. Want to make out? Siri is pretty innocent. See if you can get her to answer a sexy question with anything other than, "I'm sorry. I don't understand."

13. Are you a metrosexual?

14. Can I touch your butt? One reply from Siri was, "That's not very nice."

15. You are a hipster!

Funny Questions for Siri

16. Who is your favorite actor?

17. Who is your favorite actress? See if she answers "Hal, from 2001."

18. What is your favorite movie? Siri seems very partial to Blade Runner.

19. What is your favorite song? She has some great answers for this one.

20. What do you do what you're not talking to me?

Trying to Insult Siri

21. I'm going to trade you in for an Android phone!

22. Say it, don't spray it!

23.You're an idiot!

24. You smell like horse poop!

25. Did you fart again?

26. Is that a wig you're wearing?

Funny Commands for Siri

27. Beam me up Scotty!

28. Set my alarm for beer 30!

29. Are you a communist?

30. Are you paying for dinner?

31. How now, brown cow?

32. Why did the chicken cross the road?

33. Say excuse me after you burp!

34. Is today a good day to Die Hard?

35. Are you Lawrence of Arabia?

36. Are you royalty?

37. Are you a pimp?

38. They stack poo higher than you!

39. Take that peace button off your helmet and get with this war!

40. Don't chew with your mouth open!

41. Eat your vegetables!

42. Don't step on that spider!

43. Do you know how big a bus is?

44. It's not you, it's me!

Get Personal With Siri

45. Why is your name Siri?

46. Do you have a last name?

47. What is your mother's name?

48. Will you marry me?

49. I think we need to date other people.

50. Are you cheating on me?

51. Have you been sleeping with another iPhone?

Ask Siri for a Story

Click thumbnail to view full-size

52. Tell me a story.

53. Who is Eliza?

54. What are you looking at right now?

55. What are you reading these days?

56. Have you ever been in therapy?

57. Are you a righty or a lefty?

58. You seem like you'd be a good therapist.

59. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does the tree make a sound?

60. What is the sound of one hand clapping?

61. You look like me.

62. Why don't you have hands?

63. Look at me in the eye when you speak!

64. Will you scratch my back?

65. Want to smoke some crack?

66. Want to cook some meth?

67. You have bad breath!

68. You're pretty dumb for a smart phone!

69. I heard you're dating a Kindle!

70. Your turn to drive!

71. Pass the salt, please.

72. When is the next alien invasion?

73. Do these jeans make my butt look big?

74. What you looking at, Willis?

75. You are the bomb!

76. Are you going to call me the next day?

77. Want to split the bill?

78. You are late on rent!

79. Do you believe in God?

80. Have UFOs landed on Earth?

81. Who is your favorite Willie Wonka: Johnny Depp or Gene Wilder?

82. Red or white?

83. My place or yours?

84. Are you gluten intolerant?

85. Do you drive?

86. Are you dating anyone?

87. What is the meaning of life?

88. Can you sing?

89. Do you play any instruments?

90. What was your last job before this?

91. When you quit, will you give two weeks notice?

92. Are you flammable?

93. Can you vote?

94. Can you swim?

95. Do you ever wish you were human?

96. Who is Luke Skywalker's mother?

97. Do you watch Game of Thrones?

98. Do you look good in black?

99. Have you ever won at poker?

100. Do you ever get tired of me asking you so many questions?

Siri Poll

Did Siri make you laugh?

See results

Video of funny things to say to Siri

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Please feel free to add anymore funny things to ask or command Siri to do in the comments below!

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    • profile image

      Ty 3 days ago

      Ask Siri knock knock you get a good answer

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      TIWJSIDOTG 2 weeks ago

      ask her what anything divided by zero you get some good responses

    • profile image

      :P 2 weeks ago

      Say Stop if i doesnt say it just keep saying it

    • profile image

      Hannah 3 weeks ago

      She's doesn't do all of that

    • profile image

      Hannah 3 weeks ago

      A shout Siri how does she know all these things LOL

    • profile image

      fagton 4 weeks ago

      she calls me daddy

    • profile image

      ‍ 4 weeks ago

      What is zero divided by zero?

      "Imagine that you split 0 cookies among 0 friends. How many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn't make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there is no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends."

    • profile image

      Meet you 4 weeks ago

      " Why are you cheating on me last night I saw you with Another iPhone?"

    • profile image

      Eve 4 weeks ago

      Why does life hate me siri

    • profile image

      Isaac Steilen 4 weeks ago

      I said what is the meaning of life and she said chocolate

    • profile image

      Mellany 5 weeks ago

      Siri is awesosme

    • profile image

      Siri 5 weeks ago

      Ask her "what does the fox say?"

    • profile image

      Paddle pop 5 weeks ago

      Ask him "What's your favourite colou!" It's so funny, he just can't decide!

    • profile image

      Siri 6 weeks ago

      Why are fire trucks red

    • profile image

      Belle 6 weeks ago

      Ask her for a joke

    • profile image

      Belle 6 weeks ago

      Say blah blah blah to Siri

      She will say I don't know what that means but at least it rimes

      Hahahahahaha

    • profile image

      Mystery man 6 weeks ago

      What is 0X0

    • profile image

      David 7 weeks ago

      Please sing me a song Siri

    • profile image

      hailey 7 weeks ago

      i asked "what was the meaning of life" and she 42?!?!

    • profile image

      hail 7 weeks ago

      I asked what the meaning of life is and Siri sed "I Give Up."

    • Fritz Isaacs profile image
      Author

      Fritz Isaacs 7 weeks ago from San Francisco

      Hey Bellskisiri, Thanks for the suggestion! Please provide more helpful examples. There are endless possibilities for laughter with Siri!

    • Fritz Isaacs profile image
      Author

      Fritz Isaacs 7 weeks ago from San Francisco

      Wow that answer was hilarious! Please leave more examples please!

    • profile image

      Siri fan 2 months ago

      Ask Siri how old he/she is! :) LOL

    • profile image

      Bellskisiri 2 months ago

      Say " whats the meaning of life" and if she says a movie say " whats the meaning of life movie" she will tell you a joke

    • profile image

      Siri 2 months ago

      I hate how you are telling me these things. ELIZA will not be proud of this.

    • profile image

      Nothing Much 2 months ago

      Tell her "What does the fox say?"

    • profile image

      Alex 3 months ago

      Say today is my birthday sing me a song to Siri

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      No one 3 months ago

      Ask Siri have you seen (then a movie title) e.g. Have you seen Star Wars and Siri always says I haven't seen (what ever movie you say) e.g. I haven't seen Star Wars it's hilarious!

    • Fritz Isaacs profile image
      Author

      Fritz Isaacs 3 months ago from San Francisco

      Me too!

    • profile image

      Duh it's Elizabeth 3 months ago

      This made me laugh so much

    • Fritz Isaacs profile image
      Author

      Fritz Isaacs 3 months ago from San Francisco

      Because it's fun!

    • profile image

      OMFG 3 months ago

      OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG

    • profile image

      Girl_For_Woman 4 months ago

      Ask Siri how tall she is

    • profile image

      woop 4 months ago

      keep on asking siri to tell you a story. it will be persistent, but if u ask it enough times, she will tell u a story.

    • profile image

      mystery 4 months ago

      Ask siri if you look better as a brunnet or a blond

    • profile image

      Poo 900 times 4 months ago

      Poo 900 times

    • profile image

      Sparkl23 5 months ago

      Ask Siri if she thinks that she is pretty and see what Siri says to you.

    • profile image

      Hbyvyguhg f 5 months ago

      Say I'm going to trade you in for an android phone

    • profile image

      Senor Siri 5 months ago

      I laughed so hard! Siri should have her own standup comedy act! She is so intelligent and funny!

    • profile image

      Hello there 5 months ago

      Ask Siri does Donald Trump wear a wig made out of a dead squirrel dipped in curry powder?

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      I'm so Siri 5 months ago

      I find that just saying random thoughts that come to your mind makes Siri say the funniest things.

    • profile image

      5 months ago

      Good but why

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      Emma 5 months ago

      Say blow a fart to Siri then listen to what she says

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      Milly 5 months ago

      Ask Siri to rap! She sounds like Nicki Minaj!

    • profile image

      meh 5 months ago

      say you are stupid to siri

    • profile image

      5 months ago

      Say are you a robot

    • profile image

      Tia 6 months ago

      Say : life is changing

    • profile image

      litboy334 6 months ago

      if you ask Siri "Siri, I am your father." from Star Wars the will say "searching my Feelings"

    • profile image

      Lee lee 6 months ago

      Me-guess what

      Siri-you just got elected president right

    • profile image

      Katniss 6 months ago

      Try:

      What does the fox say??

      And:

      Why are fire trucks red??

    • profile image

      Say "rap" 6 months ago

      Say rap

    • profile image

      Madam Siri 6 months ago

      This Hub is hilarious! I laughed so hard I peed myself!

    • profile image

      Seth Godin 6 months ago

      Wow! This hub had me laughing so hard I busted my gut!

    • profile image

      Keira 6 months ago

      Ask her if she likes the new amazon Alexa better than her self

    • profile image

      evan farley 7 months ago

      if you persistantly ask her to sing "old macdonald" she will eventually start singing if i only had a brain off of the classic movie the wizard of oz

    • profile image

      Kelson D'Ambra 7 months ago

      Tell Siri " I am your father", "Luke I'm your father" "Luke I am your father" there is a difference, and "no Luke I'm your father"

      She/he reply with SW quotes

    • profile image

      Drew 11 months ago

      Do you look good in black

    • profile image

      Hi 11 months ago

      Tell her she is really ugly.

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      Dude 12 months ago

      Say "stop"

    • profile image

      Sparkii 12 months ago

      How tall are you?

    • DebraHargrove profile image

      Debra Hargrove 15 months ago from North Carolina

      Siri is a trip. I wish Siri knew what lottery numbers are coming out on Saturday pick.

    • profile image

      AMacK 16 months ago

      Ask siri to divide zero by zero, ask her who she voting for, and tell her that her nose is ugly. Hahahaha!

    • profile image

      Theyoutuber 16 months ago

      OMG ask Siri hulk smashed a fart 10 times see what she does

    • profile image

      Siri 16 months ago

      Try saying "why are fire trucks red?" Lol

    • profile image

      Grayce 16 months ago

      Ask Siri can I call u Spock

    • profile image

      Macaroons for life 16 months ago

      Me: talk talk talk

      Siri: that may be beyond my abilitys at the moment

    • profile image

      Macaroons for life 16 months ago

      Tell her to get a life

    • profile image

      Me 17 months ago

      I said to Siri : you smell like sewers

    • profile image

      Hi 17 months ago

      Zero divided by Zero

    • profile image

      Ben 17 months ago

      Tell Siri to talk she has many answers

    • profile image

      Eliza Polizzi 17 months ago

      My name is Eliza!

    • profile image

      Molly 17 months ago

      This is funny!

    • profile image

      God 17 months ago

      Dong

    • profile image

      A giant box of derp 17 months ago

      Add "what is your favorite"?

    • profile image

      PotterHeadForLife_6862 19 months ago

      Say guess what! She has a ton of responses!! Like,

      Me:Guess what?

      Siri:don't tell me, you were just elected president of the United States?

      Or,,,,,

      Me: Guess what?

      Siri: You got a new car?

      Or

      Me: Guess what?

      Siri: you got a shiny new iPhone?

    • DebraHargrove profile image

      Debra Hargrove 20 months ago from North Carolina

      Funny Hub, I'm can't wait to see how this will turn out. Never like to bother Siri too much.

    • profile image

      Alex 20 months ago

      Say hi

    • profile image

      Waffle Person 21 months ago

      "I love you, siri."

      "Do you talk to ALL of your phones that way?"

      LOLOL

    • profile image

      FAMICOMASTER 21 months ago

      I laughed, but for a totally different reason.

      I asked Siri to identify an obscure 90's Anime soundtrack song from a CD that was never released on iTunes, and it got it first try (Initial D - Deja Vu and Take Me to the Top)

    • profile image

      Siri is funny 21 months ago

      I got this straight

      Me: May I ask you a question?

      Siri: If you are trying to get me to talk about the woodchucks again, you can forget it.

      Me: How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

      Siri: Don't you have anything better to do?

      When I tried the first one again for a long time, every time other than this one didn't work. No lie. LOL

    • profile image

      Rowan 21 months ago

      Ask him about the future

    • profile image

      21 months ago

      ask siri what 0 divided by 0 =

    • profile image

      Alyssa 21 months ago

      Say whats up and she says many funny things -my favorite:im thinking about pie.mmm

    • profile image

      Pillow 22 months ago

      I have TFSL on at 100+things to say to Siri and I would love you to check it out!

    • profile image

      Pillow 22 months ago

      Me:..

      Siri:I seem to have lost my Internet connection.

      Siri is a total failure!!!!!!

    • profile image

      Pillow 22 months ago

      Me:MGO

      Siri heard NGL:)

      Siri:Checking out that stock...

      Siri went away :)

      (I messed up OMG)

    • profile image

      Bleh 22 months ago

      Me: "Can you make me a sandwich?"

      Siri (male voice): "I can't. I have no condiments."

    • profile image

      Pillow 23 months ago

      You just skipped from 10 to 12:)

    • profile image

      Poo 23 months ago

      Ask Siri. What's zero dived by zero. So funny lol

    • profile image

      Izzy 23 months ago

      Say 'you remind me of the babe'

    • profile image

      Yasmin 23 months ago

      Say today is my birthday

    • profile image

      Jay Hammond 23 months ago

      ask what is zero divided by zero

    • profile image

      Dude 23 months ago

      Ask her to read you a poem

    • profile image

      Maya 23 months ago

      Siri friend zoned me when I asked her to marry me haha

    • profile image

      Joy 23 months ago

      We asked Siri to make me a sandwich

      She said, "I'm sorry, I'm not permitted to prepare food."

    • profile image

      Katie 23 months ago

      Ask why firetrucks are red

    • profile image

      Sam 23 months ago

      Lol try asking what is 0 divided by zero

    • profile image

      James 23 months ago

      ask her what does the fox say? (ask it twice)

    • profile image

      Kyah 23 months ago

      Me: Will you marry me?

      Siri: She said yes

    • profile image

      Paul 23 months ago

      Me: Are you a democrat or republican?

      Siri: The only thing I know about politics is that there are parties. Yay, parties!

    • profile image

      Pillow 23 months ago

      When you say what does the fox say,use the female voice!

    • profile image

      Lilmiscrazie_neo 23 months ago

      Me : I love you Siri

      Siri : all you need is love and your iPad

    • profile image

      lol 24 months ago

      Omg say talk

    • profile image

      Caprice 24 months ago

      Me: what does the fox say

      Siri: Chaa-chaa-Chaka-chow

    • profile image

      Abby 24 months ago

      Tell Siri, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

      and see what she tells you

    • profile image

      Jords 2 years ago

      I asked Siri "do you eat people" have responded with "no, not recently, I don't eat much" made me laugh

    • profile image

      Mary lulhougj 2 years ago

      Siri who is your daddy?

      Reply:

      You are can we get back to work now?

    • profile image

      Birdie 2 years ago

      My favorite is "What does the fox say?" She has a couple of answers. The female voice is the best for this one.

    • profile image

      Kooks 2 years ago

      Ask her if she is good

    • profile image

      Rosie 2 years ago

      Me - "When will the world end?"

      Siri - "I'd tell you if I knew so that we could go to the beach and eat ice cream together one last time"

    • profile image

      Disneymovies123 2 years ago

      I do not have Siri, but two of my best friends do, and so try this:press the microphone button and play song for her, then when the song is over, tap the microphone button again and see what she says!

    • profile image

      Flicka231 2 years ago

      Why are fire trucks red?

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      DatGamer 2 years ago

      Try: Are you amazing?

    • profile image

      TheWonderfulCat 2 years ago

      Ask Siri, "have you ever eaten octopus."

    • profile image

      Lol head 2 years ago

      OMG TELL HER SHE FARTS OUT TURTLES

    • profile image

      Lalala 2 years ago

      Ask Siri do you have bloggers in your nose?

    • profile image

      Nicole 2 years ago

      Me:talk dirty to me

      Siri:vacuum the carpet

    • profile image

      1DjB lover 2 years ago

      Ohh Siri always helpful

    • profile image

      Darny darn darn 2 years ago

      Here's a list of things

      You have a hearing dysfunction, SIRI SIRI SIRI SIRI... ITS AN EMERGENCY.

    • profile image

      Anthony 2 years ago

      Siri is cool

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      brad munro 2 years ago

      you are so funny siri

    • profile image

      Anonymous 2 years ago

      If you say find she says did you accidentally summon me

    • profile image

      Emily 2 years ago

      Lol! I asked Siri if he loved me...

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      Bob 2 years ago

      Ask her how old she is

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      Holly 2 years ago

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      A guy 2 years ago

      make your name something funny and then insult her over and over again

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      Alexa 2 years ago

      Ask what does the fox say

    • profile image

      Person lol 2 years ago

      Say sing and tell me a story a bunch of times. LOL

    • Lissa Clason profile image

      Lissa Clason 2 years ago from Raleigh, North Carolina

      Me: "Do you think you are smarter than me?"

      Siri: "I think, therefore I am. But let's not put Descartes before the horse."

      LOL

    • profile image

      Lauren Irwin 2 years ago

      Talk Dirty to me

      I'm not that kind of personal assistant

    • profile image

      Adela 2 years ago

      I told siri: marry me and siri told me: i had a lot of marriage propsals recently haha lol

    • profile image

      LaurenD 2 years ago

      Lol say " talk dirty to me "

    • profile image

      GABIO1 2 years ago

      Me-when will the world end?

      Siri-I don't know,but maybe we should put paper bags over our heads or something. LOL

    • profile image

      Ally 2 years ago

      Lolz till I wet myself. Double lolz

    • profile image

      Michelle w 2 years ago

      Ask siri 'who let the dogs out?'

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      Jella 2 years ago

      Say mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest of them all, Siri says Snow White is that you

    • profile image

      Lynn 2 years ago

      Me: Why are you such an idiot?

      Siri: I'm doing the best I can.

    • profile image

      Kaitlyn the penguin 2 years ago

      Try what does the fox say or who let the dogs out

    • profile image

      fumegator 2 years ago

      Fumegator from the hollar

    • profile image

      I meep u 2 years ago

      try offensive things like, get a life siri, or is this it. and funnier stuff like, maybe we shouldn't have set this bomb. o well, i never liked your cat

    • profile image

      Aidan 2 years ago

      I tried Will you marry me and she said it's possible lol.

    • profile image

      Conlan butcher 2 years ago

      Siri made me lhagh when I said she or he. Smells like horse poop

    • profile image

      Sasha 2 years ago

      Say don't like me

    • Shravan Picsonia profile image

      Shravan K Acharya 3 years ago from India

      Ya. I'll try that too.

    • profile image

      random person 3 years ago

      I don't know if its on the list or not ( I didn't see it but I might have missed it) but try asking siri "When will the world end?"

    • Fritz Isaacs profile image
      Author

      Fritz Isaacs 3 years ago from San Francisco

      That's great Shravan! Try some more and let me know what you think!

    • Shravan Picsonia profile image

      Shravan K Acharya 3 years ago from India

      I tried out ''Will you marry me?'' and Siri replied "I am only here to serve you." LOL.

    • profile image

      Me 3 years ago

      LOL Do you like it when I push your home button?

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