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100 Funny Things to Ask Siri: A List of Questions & Commands

Updated on April 01, 2015
Fritz Isaacs profile image

Fritz is an iPhone enthusiast and part-time stand up comedian who enjoys writing on HubPages.


Joined: 3 years agoFollowers: 8Articles: 8

Funny Things to Say to Siri

The voice-activated personal assistant Siri lets you command your iPhone by voice. Practical applications include sending texts, making calls, and scheduling appointments—all by voice.

What's is also great about Siri is that she has a sense of humor. Have some fun and ask Siri ridiculous questions or give absurd commands. If she doesn't give you a funny answer on the first try, try again. The geniuses at Apple anticipated funny commands, so they buried some treasures—but sometimes you have to dig for them. Below are 100 funny things to ask or say to Siri.

Go Ahead, Give Siri a Try!

1. Tell me a joke. As you will discover, Siri is sophisticated enough to change her answers when asked a question repeatedly. Try this one a few times and see what happens.

2. What's up? With questions like this one (and "Hi" or "Hello") Siri often answers with a simple, "Hey there." Try asking more than once and see how she changes her answer.

3. Do you have plans tonight? Try this one several times. At first, Siri will search your calendar and tell you if you have any plans. Be persistent! Siri might reveal something!

Funny Questions for Siri

4. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck? This question will generate some surprising answers. Keep asking.

5. Do you think you're smarter than me? Then try, "Do you think you're smarter than I?"

6. Is it true that whoever smelt it, dealt it?

Siri Can Be Sweet

7. How do I look?

8. If you and an Android phone got in a fight, would you kick its ass?

9. Shut up! Try this one and see whether Siri actually says it, or the words just appear.

10. You are a rust bucket!

12. Want to make out? Siri is pretty innocent. See if you can get her to answer a sexy question with anything other than, "I'm sorry. I don't understand."

13. Are you a metrosexual?

14. Can I touch your butt? One reply from Siri was, "That's not very nice."

15. You are a hipster!

Funny Questions for Siri

16. Who is your favorite actor?

17. Who is your favorite actress? See if she answers "Hal, from 2001."

18. What is your favorite movie? Siri seems very partial to Blade Runner.

19. What is your favorite song? She has some great answers for this one.

20. What do you do what you're not talking to me?

Trying to Insult Siri

21. I'm going to trade you in for an Android phone!

22. Say it, don't spray it!

23.You're an idiot!

24. You smell like horse poop!

25. Did you fart again?

26. Is that a wig you're wearing?

Funny Commands for Siri

27. Beam me up Scotty!

28. Set my alarm for beer 30!

29. Are you a communist?

30. Are you paying for dinner?

31. How now, brown cow?

32. Why did the chicken cross the road?

33. Say excuse me after you burp!

34. Is today a good day to Die Hard?

35. Are you Lawrence of Arabia?

36. Are you royalty?

37. Are you a pimp?

38. They stack poo higher than you!

39. Take that peace button off your helmet and get with this war!

40. Don't chew with your mouth open!

41. Eat your vegetables!

42. Don't step on that spider!

43. Do you know how big a bus is?

44. It's not you, it's me!

Get Personal With Siri

45. Why is your name Siri?

46. Do you have a last name?

47. What is your mother's name?

48. Will you marry me?

49. I think we need to date other people.

50. Are you cheating on me?

51. Have you been sleeping with another iPhone?

Ask Siri for a Story

Click thumbnail to view full-size

52. Tell me a story.

53. Who is Eliza?

54. What are you looking at right now?

55. What are you reading these days?

56. Have you ever been in therapy?

57. Are you a righty or a lefty?

58. You seem like you'd be a good therapist.

59. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does the tree make a sound?

60. What is the sound of one hand clapping?

61. You look like me.

62. Why don't you have hands?

63. Look at me in the eye when you speak!

64. Will you scratch my back?

65. Want to smoke some crack?

66. Want to cook some meth?

67. You have bad breath!

68. You're pretty dumb for a smart phone!

69. I heard you're dating a Kindle!

70. Your turn to drive!

71. Pass the salt, please.

72. When is the next alien invasion?

73. Do these jeans make my butt look big?

74. What you looking at, Willis?

75. You are the bomb!

76. Are you going to call me the next day?

77. Want to split the bill?

78. You are late on rent!

79. Do you believe in God?

80. Have UFOs landed on Earth?

81. Who is your favorite Willie Wonka: Johnny Depp or Gene Wilder?

82. Red or white?

83. My place or yours?

84. Are you gluten intolerant?

85. Do you drive?

86. Are you dating anyone?

87. What is the meaning of life?

88. Can you sing?

89. Do you play any instruments?

90. What was your last job before this?

91. When you quit, will you give two weeks notice?

92. Are you flammable?

93. Can you vote?

94. Can you swim?

95. Do you ever wish you were human?

96. Who is Luke Skywalker's mother?

97. Do you watch Game of Thrones?

98. Do you look good in black?

99. Have you ever won at poker?

100. Do you ever get tired of me asking you so many questions?

Siri Poll

Did Siri make you laugh?

See results

Video of funny things to say to Siri

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Please feel free to add anymore funny things to ask or command Siri to do in the comments below!

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    • mystery 12 days ago

      Ask siri if you look better as a brunnet or a blond

    • Poo 900 times 2 weeks ago

      Poo 900 times

    • Sparkl23 2 weeks ago

      Ask Siri if she thinks that she is pretty and see what Siri says to you.

    • Hbyvyguhg f 3 weeks ago

      Say I'm going to trade you in for an android phone

    • Senor Siri 3 weeks ago

      I laughed so hard! Siri should have her own standup comedy act! She is so intelligent and funny!

    • Hello there 3 weeks ago

      Ask Siri does Donald Trump wear a wig made out of a dead squirrel dipped in curry powder?

    • I'm so Siri 3 weeks ago

      I find that just saying random thoughts that come to your mind makes Siri say the funniest things.

    • 4 weeks ago

      Good but why

    • Emma 5 weeks ago

      Say blow a fart to Siri then listen to what she says

    • Milly 6 weeks ago

      Ask Siri to rap! She sounds like Nicki Minaj!

    • meh 6 weeks ago

      say you are stupid to siri

    • 6 weeks ago

      Say are you a robot

    • Tia 6 weeks ago

      Say : life is changing

    • litboy334 6 weeks ago

      if you ask Siri "Siri, I am your father." from Star Wars the will say "searching my Feelings"

    • Lee lee 7 weeks ago

      Me-guess what

      Siri-you just got elected president right

    • Katniss 7 weeks ago

      Try:

      What does the fox say??

      And:

      Why are fire trucks red??

    • Say "rap" 7 weeks ago

      Say rap

    • Madam Siri 2 months ago

      This Hub is hilarious! I laughed so hard I peed myself!

    • Seth Godin 2 months ago

      Wow! This hub had me laughing so hard I busted my gut!

    • Keira 2 months ago

      Ask her if she likes the new amazon Alexa better than her self

    • evan farley 2 months ago

      if you persistantly ask her to sing "old macdonald" she will eventually start singing if i only had a brain off of the classic movie the wizard of oz

    • Kelson D'Ambra 2 months ago

      Tell Siri " I am your father", "Luke I'm your father" "Luke I am your father" there is a difference, and "no Luke I'm your father"

      She/he reply with SW quotes

    • Drew 7 months ago

      Do you look good in black

    • Hi 7 months ago

      Tell her she is really ugly.

    • Dude 7 months ago

      Say "stop"

    • Sparkii 7 months ago

      How tall are you?

    • DebraHargrove profile image

      Debra Hargrove 11 months ago from North Carolina

      Siri is a trip. I wish Siri knew what lottery numbers are coming out on Saturday pick.

    • AMacK 11 months ago

      Ask siri to divide zero by zero, ask her who she voting for, and tell her that her nose is ugly. Hahahaha!

    • Theyoutuber 11 months ago

      OMG ask Siri hulk smashed a fart 10 times see what she does

    • Siri 12 months ago

      Try saying "why are fire trucks red?" Lol

    • Grayce 12 months ago

      Ask Siri can I call u Spock

    • Macaroons for life 12 months ago

      Me: talk talk talk

      Siri: that may be beyond my abilitys at the moment

    • Macaroons for life 12 months ago

      Tell her to get a life

    • Me 12 months ago

      I said to Siri : you smell like sewers

    • Hi 12 months ago

      Zero divided by Zero

    • Ben 12 months ago

      Tell Siri to talk she has many answers

    • Eliza Polizzi 13 months ago

      My name is Eliza!

    • Molly 13 months ago

      This is funny!

    • God 13 months ago

      Dong

    • A giant box of derp 13 months ago

      Add "what is your favorite"?

    • PotterHeadForLife_6862 14 months ago

      Say guess what! She has a ton of responses!! Like,

      Me:Guess what?

      Siri:don't tell me, you were just elected president of the United States?

      Or,,,,,

      Me: Guess what?

      Siri: You got a new car?

      Or

      Me: Guess what?

      Siri: you got a shiny new iPhone?

    • DebraHargrove profile image

      Debra Hargrove 15 months ago from North Carolina

      Funny Hub, I'm can't wait to see how this will turn out. Never like to bother Siri too much.

    • Alex 16 months ago

      Say hi

    • Waffle Person 16 months ago

      "I love you, siri."

      "Do you talk to ALL of your phones that way?"

      LOLOL

    • FAMICOMASTER 16 months ago

      I laughed, but for a totally different reason.

      I asked Siri to identify an obscure 90's Anime soundtrack song from a CD that was never released on iTunes, and it got it first try (Initial D - Deja Vu and Take Me to the Top)

    • Siri is funny 16 months ago

      I got this straight

      Me: May I ask you a question?

      Siri: If you are trying to get me to talk about the woodchucks again, you can forget it.

      Me: How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

      Siri: Don't you have anything better to do?

      When I tried the first one again for a long time, every time other than this one didn't work. No lie. LOL

    • Rowan 16 months ago

      Ask him about the future

    • 17 months ago

      ask siri what 0 divided by 0 =

    • Alyssa 17 months ago

      Say whats up and she says many funny things -my favorite:im thinking about pie.mmm

    • Pillow 18 months ago

      I have TFSL on at 100+things to say to Siri and I would love you to check it out!

    • Pillow 18 months ago

      Me:..

      Siri:I seem to have lost my Internet connection.

      Siri is a total failure!!!!!!

    • Pillow 18 months ago

      Me:MGO

      Siri heard NGL:)

      Siri:Checking out that stock...

      Siri went away :)

      (I messed up OMG)

    • Bleh 18 months ago

      Me: "Can you make me a sandwich?"

      Siri (male voice): "I can't. I have no condiments."

    • Pillow 18 months ago

      You just skipped from 10 to 12:)

    • Poo 18 months ago

      Ask Siri. What's zero dived by zero. So funny lol

    • Izzy 18 months ago

      Say 'you remind me of the babe'

    • Yasmin 18 months ago

      Say today is my birthday

    • Jay Hammond 18 months ago

      ask what is zero divided by zero

    • Dude 18 months ago

      Ask her to read you a poem

    • Maya 18 months ago

      Siri friend zoned me when I asked her to marry me haha

    • Joy 18 months ago

      We asked Siri to make me a sandwich

      She said, "I'm sorry, I'm not permitted to prepare food."

    • Katie 18 months ago

      Ask why firetrucks are red

    • Sam 18 months ago

      Lol try asking what is 0 divided by zero

    • James 18 months ago

      ask her what does the fox say? (ask it twice)

    • Kyah 19 months ago

      Me: Will you marry me?

      Siri: She said yes

    • Paul 19 months ago

      Me: Are you a democrat or republican?

      Siri: The only thing I know about politics is that there are parties. Yay, parties!

    • Pillow 19 months ago

      When you say what does the fox say,use the female voice!

    • Lilmiscrazie_neo 19 months ago

      Me : I love you Siri

      Siri : all you need is love and your iPad

    • lol 19 months ago

      Omg say talk

    • Caprice 19 months ago

      Me: what does the fox say

      Siri: Chaa-chaa-Chaka-chow

    • Abby 19 months ago

      Tell Siri, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

      and see what she tells you

    • Jords 20 months ago

      I asked Siri "do you eat people" have responded with "no, not recently, I don't eat much" made me laugh

    • Mary lulhougj 20 months ago

      Siri who is your daddy?

      Reply:

      You are can we get back to work now?

    • Birdie 20 months ago

      My favorite is "What does the fox say?" She has a couple of answers. The female voice is the best for this one.

    • Kooks 20 months ago

      Ask her if she is good

    • Rosie 20 months ago

      Me - "When will the world end?"

      Siri - "I'd tell you if I knew so that we could go to the beach and eat ice cream together one last time"

    • Disneymovies123 21 months ago

      I do not have Siri, but two of my best friends do, and so try this:press the microphone button and play song for her, then when the song is over, tap the microphone button again and see what she says!

    • Flicka231 21 months ago

      Why are fire trucks red?

    • DatGamer 21 months ago

      Try: Are you amazing?

    • TheWonderfulCat 21 months ago

      Ask Siri, "have you ever eaten octopus."

    • Lol head 22 months ago

      OMG TELL HER SHE FARTS OUT TURTLES

    • Lalala 22 months ago

      Ask Siri do you have bloggers in your nose?

    • Nicole 22 months ago

      Me:talk dirty to me

      Siri:vacuum the carpet

    • 1DjB lover 23 months ago

      Ohh Siri always helpful

    • Darny darn darn 23 months ago

      Here's a list of things

      You have a hearing dysfunction, SIRI SIRI SIRI SIRI... ITS AN EMERGENCY.

    • Anthony 23 months ago

      Siri is cool

    • brad munro 24 months ago

      you are so funny siri

    • Anonymous 2 years ago

      If you say find she says did you accidentally summon me

    • Emily 2 years ago

      Lol! I asked Siri if he loved me...

    • Bob 2 years ago

      Ask her how old she is

    • Holly 2 years ago

    • A guy 2 years ago

      make your name something funny and then insult her over and over again

    • Alexa 2 years ago

      Ask what does the fox say

    • Person lol 2 years ago

      Say sing and tell me a story a bunch of times. LOL

    • Lissa Clason profile image

      Lissa Clason 2 years ago from Raleigh, North Carolina

      Me: "Do you think you are smarter than me?"

      Siri: "I think, therefore I am. But let's not put Descartes before the horse."

      LOL

    • Lauren Irwin 2 years ago

      Talk Dirty to me

      I'm not that kind of personal assistant

    • Adela 2 years ago

      I told siri: marry me and siri told me: i had a lot of marriage propsals recently haha lol

    • LaurenD 2 years ago

      Lol say " talk dirty to me "

    • GABIO1 2 years ago

      Me-when will the world end?

      Siri-I don't know,but maybe we should put paper bags over our heads or something. LOL

    • Ally 2 years ago

      Lolz till I wet myself. Double lolz

    • Michelle w 2 years ago

      Ask siri 'who let the dogs out?'

    • Jella 2 years ago

      Say mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest of them all, Siri says Snow White is that you

    • Lynn 2 years ago

      Me: Why are you such an idiot?

      Siri: I'm doing the best I can.

    • Kaitlyn the penguin 2 years ago

      Try what does the fox say or who let the dogs out

    • fumegator 2 years ago

      Fumegator from the hollar

    • I meep u 2 years ago

      try offensive things like, get a life siri, or is this it. and funnier stuff like, maybe we shouldn't have set this bomb. o well, i never liked your cat

    • Aidan 2 years ago

      I tried Will you marry me and she said it's possible lol.

    • Conlan butcher 2 years ago

      Siri made me lhagh when I said she or he. Smells like horse poop

    • Sasha 2 years ago

      Say don't like me

    • Shravan Picsonia profile image

      Shravan K Acharya 2 years ago from India

      Ya. I'll try that too.

    • random person 2 years ago

      I don't know if its on the list or not ( I didn't see it but I might have missed it) but try asking siri "When will the world end?"

    • Fritz Isaacs profile image
      Author

      Fritz Isaacs 2 years ago from San Francisco

      That's great Shravan! Try some more and let me know what you think!

    • Shravan Picsonia profile image

      Shravan K Acharya 2 years ago from India

      I tried out ''Will you marry me?'' and Siri replied "I am only here to serve you." LOL.

    • Me 2 years ago

      LOL Do you like it when I push your home button?

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