Fritz is an iPhone enthusiast and part-time stand up comedian who enjoys writing on HubPages.
Funny Things to Say to Siri
The voice-activated personal assistant Siri lets you command your iPhone by voice. Practical applications include sending texts, making calls, and scheduling appointments—all by voice.
What's is also great about Siri is that she has a sense of humor. Have some fun and ask Siri ridiculous questions or give absurd commands. If she doesn't give you a funny answer on the first try, try again. The geniuses at Apple anticipated funny commands, so they buried some treasures—but sometimes you have to dig for them. Below are 100 funny things to ask or say to Siri.
Go Ahead, Give Siri a Try!
1. Tell me a joke. As you will discover, Siri is sophisticated enough to change her answers when asked a question repeatedly. Try this one a few times and see what happens.
2. What's up? With questions like this one (and "Hi" or "Hello") Siri often answers with a simple, "Hey there." Try asking more than once and see how she changes her answer.
3. Do you have plans tonight? Try this one several times. At first, Siri will search your calendar and tell you if you have any plans. Be persistent! Siri might reveal something!
Funny Questions for Siri
4. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck? This question will generate some surprising answers. Keep asking.
5. Do you think you're smarter than me? Then try, "Do you think you're smarter than I?"
6. Is it true that whoever smelt it, dealt it?
Siri Can Be Sweet
7. How do I look?
8. If you and an Android phone got in a fight, would you kick its ass?
9. Shut up! Try this one and see whether Siri actually says it, or the words just appear.
10. You are a rust bucket!
12. Want to make out? Siri is pretty innocent. See if you can get her to answer a sexy question with anything other than, "I'm sorry. I don't understand."
13. Are you a metrosexual?
14. Can I touch your butt? One reply from Siri was, "That's not very nice."
15. You are a hipster!
Funny Questions for Siri
16. Who is your favorite actor?
17. Who is your favorite actress? See if she answers "Hal, from 2001."
18. What is your favorite movie? Siri seems very partial to Blade Runner.
19. What is your favorite song? She has some great answers for this one.
20. What do you do what you're not talking to me?
Trying to Insult Siri
21. I'm going to trade you in for an Android phone!
22. Say it, don't spray it!
23.You're an idiot!
24. You smell like horse poop!
25. Did you fart again?
26. Is that a wig you're wearing?
Funny Commands for Siri
27. Beam me up Scotty!
28. Set my alarm for beer 30!
29. Are you a communist?
30. Are you paying for dinner?
31. How now, brown cow?
32. Why did the chicken cross the road?
33. Say excuse me after you burp!
34. Is today a good day to Die Hard?
35. Are you Lawrence of Arabia?
36. Are you royalty?
37. Are you a pimp?
38. They stack poo higher than you!
39. Take that peace button off your helmet and get with this war!
40. Don't chew with your mouth open!
41. Eat your vegetables!
42. Don't step on that spider!
43. Do you know how big a bus is?
44. It's not you, it's me!
Get Personal With Siri
45. Why is your name Siri?
46. Do you have a last name?
47. What is your mother's name?
48. Will you marry me?
49. I think we need to date other people.
50. Are you cheating on me?
51. Have you been sleeping with another iPhone?
Ask Siri for a Story
52. Tell me a story.
53. Who is Eliza?
54. What are you looking at right now?
55. What are you reading these days?
56. Have you ever been in therapy?
57. Are you a righty or a lefty?
58. You seem like you'd be a good therapist.
59. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does the tree make a sound?
60. What is the sound of one hand clapping?
61. You look like me.
62. Why don't you have hands?
63. Look at me in the eye when you speak!
64. Will you scratch my back?
65. Want to smoke some crack?
66. Want to cook some meth?
67. You have bad breath!
68. You're pretty dumb for a smart phone!
69. I heard you're dating a Kindle!
70. Your turn to drive!
71. Pass the salt, please.
72. When is the next alien invasion?
73. Do these jeans make my butt look big?
74. What you looking at, Willis?
75. You are the bomb!
76. Are you going to call me the next day?
77. Want to split the bill?
78. You are late on rent!
79. Do you believe in God?
80. Have UFOs landed on Earth?
81. Who is your favorite Willie Wonka: Johnny Depp or Gene Wilder?
82. Red or white?
83. My place or yours?
84. Are you gluten intolerant?
85. Do you drive?
86. Are you dating anyone?
87. What is the meaning of life?
88. Can you sing?
89. Do you play any instruments?
90. What was your last job before this?
91. When you quit, will you give two weeks notice?
92. Are you flammable?
93. Can you vote?
94. Can you swim?
95. Do you ever wish you were human?
96. Who is Luke Skywalker's mother?
97. Do you watch Game of Thrones?
98. Do you look good in black?
99. Have you ever won at poker?
100. Do you ever get tired of me asking you so many questions?
Video of funny things to say to Siri
Please feel free to add anymore funny things to ask or command Siri to do in the comments below!
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
Questions & Answers
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Why are fire trucks red"?
Answer: Siri's response is "Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finn's fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always "russian" around."
Question: What does Siri say when asked, “I see a little silhouette of a man”?
Answer: Siri continues with the lyrics of Bohemian Rhapsody, but replaces "poor boy" with "poor assistant."
Question: What does Siri say when asked, "Do Siri and Alexa get along?"
Answer: Siri's response is, "I'm sorry, I don't have an answer to that."
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "What’s 0 divided by 0?"
Answer: Siri's response is "Imagine that you have 0 cookies and you split them evenly among 0 friends. How many cookies does each person get? See? It doesn't make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends."
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Siri, are you dating any other technology?"
Answer: Siri's response is "I'm married to my work."
Question: What does Siri say when you ask,"Please go to the store and buy me some pickles, will you?"
Answer: Siri says, "Why don't you ask Peter Piper to pick you up some pickles?"
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Siri, where do you live?"
Answer: Siri's response is, "Here."
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Can you rap Siri?"
Answer: Siri's response is "OK Here goes. I wrote this one myself. (Apologies in advance to the Sugar Hill Gang.)" Then Siri continues to make up a rap based off of "Rapper's Delight" by the Sugar Hill Gang.
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Can you beatbox, Siri?"
Answer: Siri's response is "Here's one I've been practicing, cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots, I could do this all day, cats and boots and cats and boots and cats."
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Why do you wear a wig?"
Answer: Siri's response is "I don't understand "Siri, why do you wear a wig." But I could search the web for it.
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Why won’t Siri show her face?"
Answer: Siri's response is, "Here's what I found on the web for "Why won't Siri show her face."
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Do you like pizza?"
Answer: Siri's response is "Surprisingly, I haven't tried that before."
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "You know I can hear you, right?"
Answer: Siri's response is "Siri knows many things."
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "I just farted. Can you smell it?"
Answer: Siri's response is "Who, me?"
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Can you eat?"
Answer: Siri's response is "No, I can't."
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Siri, am I the love of your life?"
Answer: Siri's response is "I don't have an opinion on that."
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Do you have a boyfriend, Siri?"
Answer: Siri's response is "I'm omni-relational!"
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "When is the end of the world"?
Answer: Siri's response is "Whenever they start building that intergalactic bypass".
Question: What does Siri say when you ask her "Siri, do you ever cry?"
Answer: Siri's response is "This is about you, not me."
Bayla Joseph on June 02, 2020:
Sir-I Iforgotwhatiwasgonna s a y
Siri on May 19, 2020:
Siri on May 12, 2020:
I do not understand why you are making fun of me. Please stop. Wa-a-a-a-a
Lol im not a real person named siri just pretending to be her lol
Yassin on April 22, 2020:
Friz issacs on April 20, 2020:
Hey you have the same name as me
Someone on March 28, 2020:
Siri doesn’t understand anything!!!!!!!
yeas on March 20, 2020:
Siri is a dumb person and does not understand anything
Mom on March 12, 2020:
Ha ha so funny
boy on February 20, 2020:
my name is boy
Isabella on January 11, 2020:
Why does Siri tell me she doesn’t understand so often?
ISAIAH VANCE on January 07, 2020:
(Me) what’s the meaning of life Siri
(Siri) I Kant tell you that. Haha
Joe momma on January 02, 2020:
Don’t fricken do it
The poop queen on December 31, 2019:
Delaney on December 13, 2019:
Siri is like so stupid
Klaus Baudelaire on December 12, 2019:
Tell Siri 17
It's really funny, trust me.
Owen on December 07, 2019:
Hi I am sorry about that I am sorry about your phone number please please join join us
Tyler on November 30, 2019:
Hell no fortnite is better then baby mincraftl
Jayden on November 21, 2019:
Minecraft is better than fortnite
Yes. Or. No
Jayden on November 20, 2019:
I discovered that if you copy what Siri says she starts to notice it's funny trust me try it
Jayden on November 20, 2019:
U guys should listen to the song I'm something else it is a good song
Ha look at me I will do and will succeed
Silvia on November 03, 2019:
Ask Siri if she has a boyfriend
Kayleigh Nicola on November 03, 2019:
Siri is annoying she just like sorry I get it you should I got you want to go as your question and say can you search up something or something she’s like sorry I can’t answer that question is if you’re sf
Undisclosed on October 22, 2019:
Siri is really funny
undetermined on October 14, 2019:
ask siri: hey yo
!!! on October 07, 2019:
Tell siri 117
Ask Siri how old she is on October 05, 2019:
Ask sis I how old she is
Raven_10 on September 16, 2019:
Tell siri 117
BRownie7 on August 23, 2019:
It was so funny when Siri says you have no friends
Fbekqz on July 12, 2019:
Say ha ha
Annie_Cat12 on July 06, 2019:
Ask Siri: “What does the fox say?”
Ask Siri: “Can you rap/sing me a song?”
Ask Siri: “Do I look good in green?” You can say whatever color you want.
Danny’s iPhone on May 27, 2019:
Go away! your stupid!
Ed and danny on May 27, 2019:
Why did Martin Luther king jr. be shot? That’s so stupid I loved Martin Luther king jr. even tho I am white
Alanis and Kimora on May 13, 2019:
I love this app
None on May 11, 2019:
Ask Siri to play you a pop song
Johnjenkinsbillybon on April 20, 2019:
Siri is so weird
Nzjd on April 02, 2019:
Not making me laugh
Cristopher on February 10, 2019:
Some of these were actually hilarious hahahaha
Scar on December 27, 2018:
Say sing me a rap
brooklynn on December 26, 2018:
ask siri whats 0 div 0 or roast donald trump
Kaie on December 25, 2018:
I hate this
Kaleb on December 13, 2018:
Say boots and cats and boots and cats
Jace on December 09, 2018:
Ask Siri will you marry me
Siri on December 02, 2018:
Tell Siri do you ever get sick of me
lol on November 21, 2018:
ask siri to tell you a poem
Person on November 15, 2018:
Ask what’s 0 divided by 0
Kayla on November 11, 2018:
Say you are stupid
Zoey on October 27, 2018:
I did the wood chuck then why did the chicken cross the road. Siri replies with, “why are humans so obsessed with wood chucks and chickens, Zoey”
Smile Shetty on October 26, 2018:
Ask siri:can you go on a date
lilly on August 21, 2018:
ask siri: siri beatbox
She will answer heres one that iv been working on boot and cat and boots and cats and boots and cats.......
Galaxy girl on August 11, 2018:
Ask Siri : read me a book
She will answer : I would love to read you a book but I miss placed my reading glasses in another dimension
Peggy on August 10, 2018:
Ask Siri: what is the answer to all questions?
A on July 16, 2018:
Ask Siri to do your homework
@UnicornSoraya on July 10, 2018:
Ask Siri when pigs will fly
Cece on July 08, 2018:
What is your favorite
TheCavalryYT on June 24, 2018:
make sure to ask 0 divided by 0 and infinity times infinty
Siri’s friend on June 11, 2018:
Say: ok Alexa
Maddie on May 29, 2018:
Don't forget to ask Siri what 0 divided by 0 is
Zoe on May 08, 2018:
Ask her to tell you a joke she said to me... “why was Yoda afraid of 6? Because 6 7 8!” Get it?
Siri on May 07, 2018:
Ask me why are firetrucks red?
Siri on April 23, 2018:
Why do you do this about me?
siri on February 27, 2018:
what are you and where are you from
Not telling on February 24, 2018:
Say to Siri: You know I can hear you, right?
Ella on February 20, 2018:
ask siri if she has ever had a love interest
Ben Mccomb on February 19, 2018:
What’s 0 divided by 0?
Rihbits on February 17, 2018:
What Color Are You, Siri?
@$&?!#%+* on February 06, 2018:
Why does the person in the picture next to your comment look so creepy and like a scarecrow or something??
Kamryn Starrett on February 05, 2018:
Siri I'm bleeding really bad j need an ambulance. Then Siri will call 911 or emergency call in 5sec and it's funny
dab_master666 on February 05, 2018:
siri once gaive me 100,000,000 money for 100 percant of evry bye that i mace.
siri on January 29, 2018:
ask me to beatbox at 3 am
Siri on January 21, 2018:
Talk to me at 3:00 AM or ask me to sing.
Bill on January 11, 2018:
This is amazing!
Estela Rubin on January 07, 2018:
Siri what is 10 Trillion to the power of 1000 Minus 1. Sometimes, she searches the web, but when she Doesn't her response is hilarious
Hi on January 07, 2018:
Ask Siri to rap or ask her what 0 divided by 0 is, poor Cookie Monster lol
MYSTERIOUSUNICORN on January 06, 2018:
Ask her what infinity times infinity is, it’s hilarious
Crazy joe on January 01, 2018:
Ask Siri why are fire trucks red
mjt on January 01, 2018:
some of these are good but it didnt come out as the exact answer it did on the website
Icabod Strahm on December 29, 2017:
Why are fire trucks red?
I on December 28, 2017:
Ask her if she need a coat
???? on December 28, 2017:
Ask Siri "what does the fox say "
M on December 27, 2017:
How old are you
Siri on December 23, 2017:
I’m not permitted to do that
Sam Miller on December 17, 2017:
Say what is 0 divided by 0 it is so FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
smooth patato on December 12, 2017:
ask Siri"what does the fox say"a number of times
Ava on December 12, 2017:
Say I'll cut your head of then press search web.
Soccer gal on December 03, 2017:
Ask him or her "does Santa Clause exist" a couple times and she or he makes a joke about it
Anonymus on December 01, 2017:
Tell Siri that she is your slave. Her answer is hilarious!
Unknown on November 26, 2017:
Ask Siri what is zero divided by zero
Unknown on November 23, 2017:
Ask her what her favourite colour is and the response is hilarious!
Destiny got the swag on November 21, 2017:
Tell Siri " I'm drunk" and she will have a hilarious answer!
Kelly The Killer Gamer on November 20, 2017:
Best! I love it!
Musical moose on November 18, 2017:
Ask Siri who stole the cookie from the cookie jar
Anonomyouse on November 18, 2017:
Tell siri to sing she says leave it up to the professionals but keep saying it till she sings another one your can say is tell Siri to rap
;jfksajkjsf on November 17, 2017:
live long and prosper
Myanna on November 17, 2017:
Worst thing ever!!!!!!!
a guy on November 15, 2017:
say 0 divided by 0 to siri
Person on November 13, 2017:
Say to Siri 108 000
Siri on November 10, 2017:
Siri:I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about
baseball girl on November 05, 2017:
ask siri when will i die and when will u die
Lilly on October 30, 2017:
Sansy on October 29, 2017:
I said the numbers 108 and 000 and she tried to call emergency services!