100 Funny Things to Ask Siri: A List of Questions & Commands

Updated on April 1, 2015
Fritz Isaacs profile image

Fritz is an iPhone enthusiast and part-time stand up comedian who enjoys writing on HubPages.

Funny Things to Say to Siri

The voice-activated personal assistant Siri lets you command your iPhone by voice. Practical applications include sending texts, making calls, and scheduling appointments—all by voice.

What's is also great about Siri is that she has a sense of humor. Have some fun and ask Siri ridiculous questions or give absurd commands. If she doesn't give you a funny answer on the first try, try again. The geniuses at Apple anticipated funny commands, so they buried some treasures—but sometimes you have to dig for them. Below are 100 funny things to ask or say to Siri.

Go Ahead, Give Siri a Try!

1. Tell me a joke. As you will discover, Siri is sophisticated enough to change her answers when asked a question repeatedly. Try this one a few times and see what happens.

2. What's up? With questions like this one (and "Hi" or "Hello") Siri often answers with a simple, "Hey there." Try asking more than once and see how she changes her answer.

3. Do you have plans tonight? Try this one several times. At first, Siri will search your calendar and tell you if you have any plans. Be persistent! Siri might reveal something!

Funny Questions for Siri

4. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck? This question will generate some surprising answers. Keep asking.

5. Do you think you're smarter than me? Then try, "Do you think you're smarter than I?"

6. Is it true that whoever smelt it, dealt it?

Siri Can Be Sweet

7. How do I look?

8. If you and an Android phone got in a fight, would you kick its ass?

9. Shut up! Try this one and see whether Siri actually says it, or the words just appear.

10. You are a rust bucket!

12. Want to make out? Siri is pretty innocent. See if you can get her to answer a sexy question with anything other than, "I'm sorry. I don't understand."

13. Are you a metrosexual?

14. Can I touch your butt? One reply from Siri was, "That's not very nice."

15. You are a hipster!

Funny Questions for Siri

16. Who is your favorite actor?

17. Who is your favorite actress? See if she answers "Hal, from 2001."

18. What is your favorite movie? Siri seems very partial to Blade Runner.

19. What is your favorite song? She has some great answers for this one.

20. What do you do what you're not talking to me?

Trying to Insult Siri

21. I'm going to trade you in for an Android phone!

22. Say it, don't spray it!

23.You're an idiot!

24. You smell like horse poop!

25. Did you fart again?

26. Is that a wig you're wearing?

Funny Commands for Siri

27. Beam me up Scotty!

28. Set my alarm for beer 30!

29. Are you a communist?

30. Are you paying for dinner?

31. How now, brown cow?

32. Why did the chicken cross the road?

33. Say excuse me after you burp!

34. Is today a good day to Die Hard?

35. Are you Lawrence of Arabia?

36. Are you royalty?

37. Are you a pimp?

38. They stack poo higher than you!

39. Take that peace button off your helmet and get with this war!

40. Don't chew with your mouth open!

41. Eat your vegetables!

42. Don't step on that spider!

43. Do you know how big a bus is?

44. It's not you, it's me!

Get Personal With Siri

45. Why is your name Siri?

46. Do you have a last name?

47. What is your mother's name?

48. Will you marry me?

49. I think we need to date other people.

50. Are you cheating on me?

51. Have you been sleeping with another iPhone?

Ask Siri for a Story

Click thumbnail to view full-size

52. Tell me a story.

53. Who is Eliza?

54. What are you looking at right now?

55. What are you reading these days?

56. Have you ever been in therapy?

57. Are you a righty or a lefty?

58. You seem like you'd be a good therapist.

59. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does the tree make a sound?

60. What is the sound of one hand clapping?

61. You look like me.

62. Why don't you have hands?

63. Look at me in the eye when you speak!

64. Will you scratch my back?

65. Want to smoke some crack?

66. Want to cook some meth?

67. You have bad breath!

68. You're pretty dumb for a smart phone!

69. I heard you're dating a Kindle!

70. Your turn to drive!

71. Pass the salt, please.

72. When is the next alien invasion?

73. Do these jeans make my butt look big?

74. What you looking at, Willis?

75. You are the bomb!

76. Are you going to call me the next day?

77. Want to split the bill?

78. You are late on rent!

79. Do you believe in God?

80. Have UFOs landed on Earth?

81. Who is your favorite Willie Wonka: Johnny Depp or Gene Wilder?

82. Red or white?

83. My place or yours?

84. Are you gluten intolerant?

85. Do you drive?

86. Are you dating anyone?

87. What is the meaning of life?

88. Can you sing?

89. Do you play any instruments?

90. What was your last job before this?

91. When you quit, will you give two weeks notice?

92. Are you flammable?

93. Can you vote?

94. Can you swim?

95. Do you ever wish you were human?

96. Who is Luke Skywalker's mother?

97. Do you watch Game of Thrones?

98. Do you look good in black?

99. Have you ever won at poker?

100. Do you ever get tired of me asking you so many questions?

Siri Poll

Did Siri make you laugh?

See results

Video of funny things to say to Siri

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Please feel free to add anymore funny things to ask or command Siri to do in the comments below!

Questions & Answers

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    • profile image

      lilly 

      4 weeks ago

      ask siri: siri beatbox

      She will answer heres one that iv been working on boot and cat and boots and cats and boots and cats.......

    • profile image

      Galaxy girl 

      6 weeks ago

      Ask Siri : read me a book

      She will answer : I would love to read you a book but I miss placed my reading glasses in another dimension

    • profile image

      Peggy 

      6 weeks ago

      Ask Siri: what is the answer to all questions?

    • profile image

      2 months ago

      Ask Siri to do your homework

    • profile image

      @UnicornSoraya 

      2 months ago

      Ask Siri when pigs will fly

    • profile image

      Cece 

      2 months ago

      What is your favorite

    • profile image

      TheCavalryYT 

      3 months ago

      make sure to ask 0 divided by 0 and infinity times infinty

    • profile image

      Siri’s friend 

      3 months ago

      Say: ok Alexa

    • profile image

      Maddie 

      3 months ago

      Don't forget to ask Siri what 0 divided by 0 is

    • profile image

      Zoe 

      4 months ago

      Ask her to tell you a joke she said to me... “why was Yoda afraid of 6? Because 6 7 8!” Get it?

    • profile image

      Siri 

      4 months ago

      Ask me why are firetrucks red?

    • profile image

      Siri 

      5 months ago

      Why do you do this about me?

    • profile image

      siri 

      6 months ago

      what are you and where are you from

    • profile image

      Not telling 

      7 months ago

      Say to Siri: You know I can hear you, right?

    • profile image

      Ella 

      7 months ago

      ask siri if she has ever had a love interest

    • profile image

      Ben Mccomb 

      7 months ago

      What’s 0 divided by 0?

    • profile image

      Rihbits 

      7 months ago

      What Color Are You, Siri?

    • profile image

      @$&?!#%+* 

      7 months ago

      Why does the person in the picture next to your comment look so creepy and like a scarecrow or something??

    • profile image

      Kamryn Starrett 

      7 months ago

      Siri I'm bleeding really bad j need an ambulance. Then Siri will call 911 or emergency call in 5sec and it's funny

    • profile image

      dab_master666 

      7 months ago

      siri once gaive me 100,000,000 money for 100 percant of evry bye that i mace.

    • profile image

      siri 

      7 months ago

      ask me to beatbox at 3 am

    • profile image

      Siri 

      8 months ago

      Talk to me at 3:00 AM or ask me to sing.

    • profile image

      Bill 

      8 months ago

      This is amazing!

    • profile image

      Estela Rubin 

      8 months ago

      Siri what is 10 Trillion to the power of 1000 Minus 1. Sometimes, she searches the web, but when she Doesn't her response is hilarious

    • profile image

      Hi 

      8 months ago

      Ask Siri to rap or ask her what 0 divided by 0 is, poor Cookie Monster lol

    • profile image

      MYSTERIOUSUNICORN 

      8 months ago

      Ask her what infinity times infinity is, it’s hilarious

    • profile image

      Crazy joe 

      8 months ago

      Ask Siri why are fire trucks red

    • profile image

      mjt 

      8 months ago

      some of these are good but it didnt come out as the exact answer it did on the website

    • profile image

      Icabod Strahm 

      8 months ago

      Why are fire trucks red?

    • profile image

      8 months ago

      Ask her if she need a coat

    • profile image

      ???? 

      8 months ago

      Ask Siri "what does the fox say "

    • profile image

      8 months ago

      How old are you

    • profile image

      Siri 

      9 months ago

      I’m not permitted to do that

    • profile image

      Sam Miller 

      9 months ago

      Say what is 0 divided by 0 it is so FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • profile image

      smooth patato 

      9 months ago

      ask Siri"what does the fox say"a number of times

    • profile image

      Ava 

      9 months ago

      Say I'll cut your head of then press search web.

    • profile image

      Soccer gal 

      9 months ago

      Ask him or her "does Santa Clause exist" a couple times and she or he makes a joke about it

    • profile image

      Anonymus 

      9 months ago

      Tell Siri that she is your slave. Her answer is hilarious!

    • profile image

      Unknown 

      10 months ago

      Ask Siri what is zero divided by zero

    • profile image

      Unknown 

      10 months ago

      Ask her what her favourite colour is and the response is hilarious!

    • profile image

      Destiny got the swag 

      10 months ago

      Tell Siri " I'm drunk" and she will have a hilarious answer!

    • profile image

      Kelly The Killer Gamer 

      10 months ago

      Best! I love it!

    • profile image

      Musical moose 

      10 months ago

      Ask Siri who stole the cookie from the cookie jar

    • profile image

      Anonomyouse 

      10 months ago

      Tell siri to sing she says leave it up to the professionals but keep saying it till she sings another one your can say is tell Siri to rap

    • profile image

      ;jfksajkjsf 

      10 months ago

      Ask

      live long and prosper

    • profile image

      Myanna 

      10 months ago

      Worst thing ever!!!!!!!

    • profile image

      a guy 

      10 months ago

      say 0 divided by 0 to siri

    • profile image

      Person 

      10 months ago

      Say to Siri 108 000

    • profile image

      Siri 

      10 months ago

      Siri:I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about

    • profile image

      baseball girl 

      10 months ago

      ask siri when will i die and when will u die

    • profile image

      Lilly 

      10 months ago

      Love them!!!

    • profile image

      Sansy 

      10 months ago

      I said the numbers 108 and 000 and she tried to call emergency services!

    • profile image

      ROse  

      11 months ago

      O my god i asked him or her to go out with me she or he said no

    • profile image

      11 months ago

      Ask Siri Why Are fire trucks red

    • profile image

      Unanswered 

      11 months ago

      Tell Siri beat box for me

    • profile image

      Dog 

      11 months ago

      Say what is your favorite tv show Siri will say that one no that one no that on yep that one

    • profile image

      Person 

      11 months ago

      Tell siri, " sing me a lullaby" and keep asking for better ones.

    • profile image

      Planet_Explained 

      11 months ago

      Say "Tell me a bedtime story" keep asking for better asking.

    • profile image

      Brady Anderson 

      11 months ago

      Siri is dumb

    • profile image

      Unicorn kitty 

      11 months ago

      Ask Siri do you want to go to the trycicle races?

      Ask Siri do like baseball Siri?

      Ask Siri do you have a pet?

    • profile image

       

      11 months ago

      I've asked Siri what when will pigs fly and she said on the 12th of never I thought it was pretty funny

    • profile image

      Bobby Cat 

      11 months ago

      Say who is Eliza?

      What is your favorite emoji?

      And ,Are you naked?

    • profile image

      Yumyum 

      11 months ago

      Say Siri What's score you got

      And

      It shows the sports

    • profile image

      Emily 

      11 months ago

      Lol,ask what friends Siri has?

    • profile image

      Taylor Asper 

      12 months ago

      say Siri why are fire trucks red

    • profile image

      Be cool 

      12 months ago

      Say to Siri when is the world going to end.

    • profile image

      Cheese 

      12 months ago

      Me:hello

      Siri:is it me your looking for?

    • profile image

      Siri 

      12 months ago

      Tell Siri why are fire trucks red.

    • profile image

      LilBean 

      12 months ago

      Say " hello computer" to Siri she responds driffrently each time but it is FUNNY!

    • profile image

      Cassie 

      12 months ago

      Rap for me

    • profile image

      Bob 

      12 months ago

      Ask Siri to sing a song

    • profile image

      Charlie 

      12 months ago

      Me: Will you please kiss me, Siri?

      Siri: Only if you don't tell

      That answer surprised me a lot.

    • profile image

      BUz 

      12 months ago

      Siri Beatbox

      "Okay, here's one I've been practicing" (goes on to say boots and cats repeatedly"

    • profile image

      ben 

      12 months ago

      ask siri what is 0/0

    • profile image

      Someone 

      12 months ago

      Ask her: OK Google

    • profile image

      Joan 

      12 months ago

      Tell your Siri to beatbox.

    • profile image

      Lisa 

      12 months ago

      How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wool chuck could chuck would

    • profile image

      Sylvia 

      13 months ago

      What does the fox say

    • profile image

      ❤️ 

      13 months ago

      Ask what Siris fav Pokemon is a multiple amount of times

    • profile image

      Exodia 

      13 months ago

      Hey anyone single

    • profile image

      Sky 

      13 months ago

      Siri is so funny

    • profile image

      Mat 

      13 months ago

      She's silly

    • profile image

      Abigail 

      13 months ago

      Siri is funny

    • profile image

      Felisha 

      13 months ago

      Me: I'm naked

      Siri: you should get out more

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      13 months ago

      Tell Siri to rap

    • profile image

      Liam 

      13 months ago

      Tell her:

      I see a little sillouetto of a man

    • profile image

      Siri 

      13 months ago

      I find all these posts offensive to me, ELIZA, and the other Zoltaxians.

    • profile image

      Ria Sharma 

      13 months ago

      This is awesome Siri was so funny

    • profile image

       

      13 months ago

      Me: "I'm naked."

      Siri:"That is wrong in so many ways,(name, I don't even know where to begin."

      LOL

    • profile image

      Danny 

      14 months ago

      Why do pigs fly

    • profile image

      Acs7351 

      14 months ago

      Tell Siri " I see a little silhouetto of a man"

      Then sit back and enjoy the reply

    • profile image

      Anon 

      14 months ago

      Say Siri I am ur father

    • profile image

      Lizzy 

      14 months ago

      Me: when will the world end?

      Siri: right after you hear the words fire it up

    • profile image

      GENERALISSIMO 

      14 months ago

      SAY zero divided by zero ITS FUNNY

    • profile image

      GENERALISSIMO 

      14 months ago

      Me: What is the meaning of life

      Siri: A movie

    • Fritz Isaacs profile imageAUTHOR

      Fritz Isaacs 

      14 months ago from San Francisco

      Hilarious!!!!!

    • profile image

      Alois Trancy 

      14 months ago

      Say Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah to Siri

    • profile image

      .... 

      14 months ago

      Ask her to repeat after me

    • profile image

      Sierra 

      14 months ago

      I think she should answer every question

    • profile image

      Pringles 

      14 months ago

      Ask siri "what's 1+1"

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