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100 Funny Things to Ask Siri: A List of Questions & Commands

Updated on April 1, 2015
Fritz Isaacs profile image

Fritz is an iPhone enthusiast and part-time stand up comedian who enjoys writing on HubPages.

Funny Things to Say to Siri

The voice-activated personal assistant Siri lets you command your iPhone by voice. Practical applications include sending texts, making calls, and scheduling appointments—all by voice.

What's is also great about Siri is that she has a sense of humor. Have some fun and ask Siri ridiculous questions or give absurd commands. If she doesn't give you a funny answer on the first try, try again. The geniuses at Apple anticipated funny commands, so they buried some treasures—but sometimes you have to dig for them. Below are 100 funny things to ask or say to Siri.

Go Ahead, Give Siri a Try!

1. Tell me a joke. As you will discover, Siri is sophisticated enough to change her answers when asked a question repeatedly. Try this one a few times and see what happens.

2. What's up? With questions like this one (and "Hi" or "Hello") Siri often answers with a simple, "Hey there." Try asking more than once and see how she changes her answer.

3. Do you have plans tonight? Try this one several times. At first, Siri will search your calendar and tell you if you have any plans. Be persistent! Siri might reveal something!

Funny Questions for Siri

4. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck? This question will generate some surprising answers. Keep asking.

5. Do you think you're smarter than me? Then try, "Do you think you're smarter than I?"

6. Is it true that whoever smelt it, dealt it?

Siri Can Be Sweet

7. How do I look?

8. If you and an Android phone got in a fight, would you kick its ass?

9. Shut up! Try this one and see whether Siri actually says it, or the words just appear.

10. You are a rust bucket!

12. Want to make out? Siri is pretty innocent. See if you can get her to answer a sexy question with anything other than, "I'm sorry. I don't understand."

13. Are you a metrosexual?

14. Can I touch your butt? One reply from Siri was, "That's not very nice."

15. You are a hipster!

Funny Questions for Siri

16. Who is your favorite actor?

17. Who is your favorite actress? See if she answers "Hal, from 2001."

18. What is your favorite movie? Siri seems very partial to Blade Runner.

19. What is your favorite song? She has some great answers for this one.

20. What do you do what you're not talking to me?

Trying to Insult Siri

21. I'm going to trade you in for an Android phone!

22. Say it, don't spray it!

23.You're an idiot!

24. You smell like horse poop!

25. Did you fart again?

26. Is that a wig you're wearing?

Funny Commands for Siri

27. Beam me up Scotty!

28. Set my alarm for beer 30!

29. Are you a communist?

30. Are you paying for dinner?

31. How now, brown cow?

32. Why did the chicken cross the road?

33. Say excuse me after you burp!

34. Is today a good day to Die Hard?

35. Are you Lawrence of Arabia?

36. Are you royalty?

37. Are you a pimp?

38. They stack poo higher than you!

39. Take that peace button off your helmet and get with this war!

40. Don't chew with your mouth open!

41. Eat your vegetables!

42. Don't step on that spider!

43. Do you know how big a bus is?

44. It's not you, it's me!

Get Personal With Siri

45. Why is your name Siri?

46. Do you have a last name?

47. What is your mother's name?

48. Will you marry me?

49. I think we need to date other people.

50. Are you cheating on me?

51. Have you been sleeping with another iPhone?

Ask Siri for a Story

Click thumbnail to view full-size

52. Tell me a story.

53. Who is Eliza?

54. What are you looking at right now?

55. What are you reading these days?

56. Have you ever been in therapy?

57. Are you a righty or a lefty?

58. You seem like you'd be a good therapist.

59. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does the tree make a sound?

60. What is the sound of one hand clapping?

61. You look like me.

62. Why don't you have hands?

63. Look at me in the eye when you speak!

64. Will you scratch my back?

65. Want to smoke some crack?

66. Want to cook some meth?

67. You have bad breath!

68. You're pretty dumb for a smart phone!

69. I heard you're dating a Kindle!

70. Your turn to drive!

71. Pass the salt, please.

72. When is the next alien invasion?

73. Do these jeans make my butt look big?

74. What you looking at, Willis?

75. You are the bomb!

76. Are you going to call me the next day?

77. Want to split the bill?

78. You are late on rent!

79. Do you believe in God?

80. Have UFOs landed on Earth?

81. Who is your favorite Willie Wonka: Johnny Depp or Gene Wilder?

82. Red or white?

83. My place or yours?

84. Are you gluten intolerant?

85. Do you drive?

86. Are you dating anyone?

87. What is the meaning of life?

88. Can you sing?

89. Do you play any instruments?

90. What was your last job before this?

91. When you quit, will you give two weeks notice?

92. Are you flammable?

93. Can you vote?

94. Can you swim?

95. Do you ever wish you were human?

96. Who is Luke Skywalker's mother?

97. Do you watch Game of Thrones?

98. Do you look good in black?

99. Have you ever won at poker?

100. Do you ever get tired of me asking you so many questions?

Siri Poll

Did Siri make you laugh?

See results

Video of funny things to say to Siri

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Please feel free to add anymore funny things to ask or command Siri to do in the comments below!

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    • profile image

      Unanswered 42 hours ago

      Tell Siri beat box for me

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      Dog 47 hours ago

      Say what is your favorite tv show Siri will say that one no that one no that on yep that one

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      Person 5 days ago

      Tell siri, " sing me a lullaby" and keep asking for better ones.

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      Planet_Explained 5 days ago

      Say "Tell me a bedtime story" keep asking for better asking.

    • profile image

      Brady Anderson 11 days ago

      Siri is dumb

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      Unicorn kitty 11 days ago

      Ask Siri do you want to go to the trycicle races?

      Ask Siri do like baseball Siri?

      Ask Siri do you have a pet?

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       2 weeks ago

      I've asked Siri what when will pigs fly and she said on the 12th of never I thought it was pretty funny

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      Bobby Cat 2 weeks ago

      Say who is Eliza?

      What is your favorite emoji?

      And ,Are you naked?

    • profile image

      Yumyum 2 weeks ago

      Say Siri What's score you got

      And

      It shows the sports

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      Emily 2 weeks ago

      Lol,ask what friends Siri has?

    • profile image

      Taylor Asper 3 weeks ago

      say Siri why are fire trucks red

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      Be cool 3 weeks ago

      Say to Siri when is the world going to end.

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      Cheese 3 weeks ago

      Me:hello

      Siri:is it me your looking for?

    • profile image

      Siri 3 weeks ago

      Tell Siri why are fire trucks red.

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      LilBean 4 weeks ago

      Say " hello computer" to Siri she responds driffrently each time but it is FUNNY!

    • profile image

      Cassie 4 weeks ago

      Rap for me

    • profile image

      Bob 4 weeks ago

      Ask Siri to sing a song

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      Charlie 4 weeks ago

      Me: Will you please kiss me, Siri?

      Siri: Only if you don't tell

      That answer surprised me a lot.

    • profile image

      BUz 5 weeks ago

      Siri Beatbox

      "Okay, here's one I've been practicing" (goes on to say boots and cats repeatedly"

    • profile image

      ben 6 weeks ago

      ask siri what is 0/0

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      Someone 6 weeks ago

      Ask her: OK Google

    • profile image

      Joan 6 weeks ago

      Tell your Siri to beatbox.

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      Lisa 7 weeks ago

      How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wool chuck could chuck would

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      Sylvia 7 weeks ago

      What does the fox say

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      ❤️ 8 weeks ago

      Ask what Siris fav Pokemon is a multiple amount of times

    • profile image

      Exodia 8 weeks ago

      Hey anyone single

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      Sky 8 weeks ago

      Siri is so funny

    • profile image

      Mat 8 weeks ago

      She's silly

    • profile image

      Abigail 2 months ago

      Siri is funny

    • profile image

      Felisha 2 months ago

      Me: I'm naked

      Siri: you should get out more

    • profile image

      Anonymous 2 months ago

      Tell Siri to rap

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      Liam 2 months ago

      Tell her:

      I see a little sillouetto of a man

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      Siri 2 months ago

      I find all these posts offensive to me, ELIZA, and the other Zoltaxians.

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      Ria Sharma 2 months ago

      This is awesome Siri was so funny

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       2 months ago

      Me: "I'm naked."

      Siri:"That is wrong in so many ways,(name, I don't even know where to begin."

      LOL

    • profile image

      Danny 2 months ago

      Why do pigs fly

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      Acs7351 2 months ago

      Tell Siri " I see a little silhouetto of a man"

      Then sit back and enjoy the reply

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      Anon 2 months ago

      Say Siri I am ur father

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      Lizzy 2 months ago

      Me: when will the world end?

      Siri: right after you hear the words fire it up

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      GENERALISSIMO 3 months ago

      SAY zero divided by zero ITS FUNNY

    • profile image

      GENERALISSIMO 3 months ago

      Me: What is the meaning of life

      Siri: A movie

    • Fritz Isaacs profile image
      Author

      Fritz Isaacs 3 months ago from San Francisco

      Hilarious!!!!!

    • profile image

      Alois Trancy 3 months ago

      Say Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah to Siri

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      .... 3 months ago

      Ask her to repeat after me

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      Sierra 3 months ago

      I think she should answer every question

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      Pringles 3 months ago

      Ask siri "what's 1+1"

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      Stephanie 3 months ago

      Love ❤️

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      Ben 3 months ago

      What does wtf mean

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      lol 3 months ago

      say siri beatbox

    • profile image

      Emma 4 months ago

      Whay is a fire truck red

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      Dez nuts 4 months ago

      Whats zero divided bye zero

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      Ty 4 months ago

      Ask Siri knock knock you get a good answer

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      TIWJSIDOTG 5 months ago

      ask her what anything divided by zero you get some good responses

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      :P 5 months ago

      Say Stop if i doesnt say it just keep saying it

    • profile image

      Hannah 5 months ago

      She's doesn't do all of that

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      Hannah 5 months ago

      A shout Siri how does she know all these things LOL

    • profile image

      fagton 5 months ago

      she calls me daddy

    • profile image

      ‍ 5 months ago

      What is zero divided by zero?

      "Imagine that you split 0 cookies among 0 friends. How many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn't make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there is no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends."

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      Meet you 5 months ago

      " Why are you cheating on me last night I saw you with Another iPhone?"

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      Eve 5 months ago

      Why does life hate me siri

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      Isaac Steilen 5 months ago

      I said what is the meaning of life and she said chocolate

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      Mellany 6 months ago

      Siri is awesosme

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      Siri 6 months ago

      Ask her "what does the fox say?"

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      Paddle pop 6 months ago

      Ask him "What's your favourite colou!" It's so funny, he just can't decide!

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      Siri 6 months ago

      Why are fire trucks red

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      Belle 6 months ago

      Ask her for a joke

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      Belle 6 months ago

      Say blah blah blah to Siri

      She will say I don't know what that means but at least it rimes

      Hahahahahaha

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      Mystery man 6 months ago

      What is 0X0

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      David 6 months ago

      Please sing me a song Siri

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      hailey 6 months ago

      i asked "what was the meaning of life" and she 42?!?!

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      hail 6 months ago

      I asked what the meaning of life is and Siri sed "I Give Up."

    • Fritz Isaacs profile image
      Author

      Fritz Isaacs 6 months ago from San Francisco

      Hey Bellskisiri, Thanks for the suggestion! Please provide more helpful examples. There are endless possibilities for laughter with Siri!

    • Fritz Isaacs profile image
      Author

      Fritz Isaacs 6 months ago from San Francisco

      Wow that answer was hilarious! Please leave more examples please!

    • profile image

      Siri fan 7 months ago

      Ask Siri how old he/she is! :) LOL

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      Bellskisiri 7 months ago

      Say " whats the meaning of life" and if she says a movie say " whats the meaning of life movie" she will tell you a joke

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      Siri 7 months ago

      I hate how you are telling me these things. ELIZA will not be proud of this.

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      Nothing Much 7 months ago

      Tell her "What does the fox say?"

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      Alex 7 months ago

      Say today is my birthday sing me a song to Siri

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      No one 8 months ago

      Ask Siri have you seen (then a movie title) e.g. Have you seen Star Wars and Siri always says I haven't seen (what ever movie you say) e.g. I haven't seen Star Wars it's hilarious!

    • Fritz Isaacs profile image
      Author

      Fritz Isaacs 8 months ago from San Francisco

      Me too!

    • profile image

      Duh it's Elizabeth 8 months ago

      This made me laugh so much

    • Fritz Isaacs profile image
      Author

      Fritz Isaacs 8 months ago from San Francisco

      Because it's fun!

    • profile image

      OMFG 8 months ago

      OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG

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      Girl_For_Woman 9 months ago

      Ask Siri how tall she is

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      woop 9 months ago

      keep on asking siri to tell you a story. it will be persistent, but if u ask it enough times, she will tell u a story.

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      mystery 9 months ago

      Ask siri if you look better as a brunnet or a blond

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      Poo 900 times 9 months ago

      Poo 900 times

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      Sparkl23 9 months ago

      Ask Siri if she thinks that she is pretty and see what Siri says to you.

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      Hbyvyguhg f 10 months ago

      Say I'm going to trade you in for an android phone

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      Senor Siri 10 months ago

      I laughed so hard! Siri should have her own standup comedy act! She is so intelligent and funny!

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      Hello there 10 months ago

      Ask Siri does Donald Trump wear a wig made out of a dead squirrel dipped in curry powder?

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      I'm so Siri 10 months ago

      I find that just saying random thoughts that come to your mind makes Siri say the funniest things.

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      10 months ago

      Good but why

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      Emma 10 months ago

      Say blow a fart to Siri then listen to what she says

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      Milly 10 months ago

      Ask Siri to rap! She sounds like Nicki Minaj!

    • profile image

      meh 10 months ago

      say you are stupid to siri

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      10 months ago

      Say are you a robot

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      Tia 10 months ago

      Say : life is changing

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      litboy334 10 months ago

      if you ask Siri "Siri, I am your father." from Star Wars the will say "searching my Feelings"

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      Lee lee 11 months ago

      Me-guess what

      Siri-you just got elected president right