Jeremy explores many topics as he juggles his passion for writing with his career as a chemical analyst and campus manager.
We're all aware of search engine juggernaut Google; there's a good chance you used it to get here. Out of curiosity, I decided to uncover its most frequent questions, and was thoroughly entertained by the ensuing sheer randomness. Do people really inquire what we do "in the shadows" more than what the meaning of life is?
Oh boy, you better believe it. From scientific to strange, for one reason or another, we Google the silliest of things. Here are fifty answers to the most-asked what questions throughout the past six months!
1. What is my ip?
An IP (Internet Protocol) address identifies specific computers. Google this exact question and yours should pop up! Here's an example of what it will look like: 172.16.254.1
2. What time is it?
Time for you to either invest in a sundial or look in the bottom-right hand corner of your screen. Or is it different for Macs? Meh, team Windows.
3. What do you mean?
What do you mean what do I mean? I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An author is faithful one hundred percent.
4. What does the fox say?
According to the absurd classic Ylvis tune, it's something like ""Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!"
5. What song is this?
Using Google Assistant or similar programs, our devices use this question to listen and display information about songs playing in our vicinity! Nifty stuff.
6. What do you mean lyrics?
Baby, Sorry we're not Friends if you listen to this much Bieber.
7. What time is it in California?
California uses Pacific Time. If it's noon where I am in here in Central, it's 10 am in Cali.
8. What does smh mean?
You really don't know? Smh.
(shaking my head)
9. What is the weather today?
Partly cloudy, thanks for asking.
10. What is Día de Muertos?
Spanish for "Day of the Dead" where people honor their deceased family and friends. It's also a good term for whenever I run into one of my zombie-like exes.
11. What is your name?
I'll never tell! Not even in my author bio...oops.
12. What we do in the shadows?
Dude, go outside and get some fresh air.
13. What does bae mean?
It's an annoying way to refer to your partner. Use it too much, and you won't have one for long.
14. What does hmu mean?
Hit me up, as in I'm bored and have nothing to do. Urban Dictionary offers an alternative meaning of "hold my unicorn". Makes sense.
15. What is the temperature?
Hey, these questions are surprisingly sensable. Come on internet, gimme a challenge.
16. What is the meaning of life?
Uh-oh. Forty-two, to find happiness, popping every last hole in bubble wrap, take your pick.
17. What does tbh mean?
Tbh, it means... to be honest.
18. What does my name mean?
Well, what's your name? Mine means "Exalted of the Lord". Dramatic, no?
19. What are you doing?
I hear this way too much at work.
20. What is a verb?
It's what you do.
21. What makes you beautiful?
I mean, just look at me. What's not to love?
22. What does dm mean?
What's the context? It can refer to direct message, decimeter, or dungeon master.
23. What to do when your bored?
How about work on grammar and change your to you're?
24. What on tv tonight?
Probably just the news again, amigo. Did you know they call it the news because it covers the whole world (news: north, east, west, south)?
25. What day is it?
Oh, it's just Sunday. Wait, is that Stacy...? Día de Muertos!
26. What to expect when you re expecting?
How about a 2012 romantic comedy?
27. What does otp mean?
"One True Pairing" describes a favored romantic coupling, usually used by the fandom of a particular series.
28. What is the European Union?
It's basically an alliance of about 27 European nations who eliminate border control between member countries, allowing a strong flow of goods and travelers.
29. What to watch on NetFlix?
Anything as long as you don't stop to "chill".
30. What goes around comes around?
This is both a popular phrase for karma and a Justin Timberlake song.
31. What is global warming?
It's a very gradual increase in average temperatures worldwide through the depletion of our atmosphere's ozone layer. Potential consequences include decreased crop yields, rising sea levels, and more droughts, so it's definitely an issue for us to tackle.
32. What is a prime number?
Any positive whole number that has no positive factors other than itself and 1. Examples include 2, 3, 7, 17, and so on.
33. What time is the debate?
The presidential ones? Every four years or so.
34. What is a caucus?
We're getting political here, eh? A caucus is basically a meeting of a certain political faction, often to suggest delegates and candidates.
35. What is a meme?
A viral cultural symbol or idea. Usually these take the form of amusing pictures and quotes on social media.
36. What is an adjective?
Anything that describes a noun. You could describe me using tall, handsome, perfect, you get the idea. Things that describe non-nouns are adverbs.
37. What a girl wants?
What a girl needs.
38. What is a noun?
Person, place, or thing.
39. What does gop stand for?
Another moniker for the Republican party, "Grand Old Party." Hilariously, many Americans know what it refers to but aren't sure of the acronym, thinking it stands for phrases like "Government of the People," "Grumpy Old People," and "God's Own Party."
40. What day is Thanksgiving?
Unlike Halloween and Christmas, Thanksgiving's exact date changes year-by-year, always falling on the fourth Thursday of November. If you live in Canada, it's the second Monday of October instead.
41. What time is the powerball drawing?
When do you want to be disappointed?
42. What colors make brown?
You can either mix a primary color with its complementary one (yellow and purple), or simply mix any jumble of non-black and white hues together.
43. What does lmao mean?
Laughing my, uh, backside, off.
44. What is a good credit score?
700 and up should be fine.
45. What does ISIS stand for?
Islamic State in Iraq and Syria. This acronym didn't help the poor companies already using the same letters, like the Institute for Software Integrated Systems.
46. What side is your appendix on?
Your lower right-stomach area.
47. What is a millennial?
Often called "Generation Y", we have no established birth years for millennials, but most consider them anyone born between the later 80s to early 2000s.
48.What do bed bugs look like?
Not sure, just don't let them bite.
49. What happens in Vegas?
Stays in Vegas.
50. What is my location?
There ya have it. Duplicate questions notwithstanding (everybody was asking what time it is in just about every country), these are the fifty-most asked "what" questions. Silly exercise or revealing profile of the human nature? You be the judge.
Just no more Bieber, please.
Questions & Answers
Question: What is the answer to the question "What is the biggest number?"
Answer: The biggest number is infinity. Although if you really get into it, some infinities pale in comparison to others because the "superior" infinities are increasing at much faster rates.
© 2018 Jeremy Gill
Noor on February 27, 2018: