Jeremy explores many topics as he juggles his passion for writing with his career as a chemical analyst and campus manager.
Google's Search Engine
We all know of Google; there's a good chance you used it to get here. Out of curiosity, I decided to uncover its most frequent questions, and was thoroughly entertained by the ensuing sheer randomness. Do enough people really remember (and care about) children's character Caillou to inquire about his baldness?
Apparently, yes. From scientific to strange to crude, for one reason or another, we Google the silliest of things. Here are fifty answers to the most-asked why questions throughout the past six months!
1. Why is there a leap day?
Simple, to keep our calendar on track by compensating for Earth's imperfect orbit of the Sun.
2. Why is the sky blue?
Well, it does "cry" a lot. But it's because blue light's short wavelengths aren't easily absorbed and bounce off the sky, creating a sapphire hue.
3. Why you always lying?
Haters gonna hate.
4. Why is my poop green?
As gross as this is, let's be honest—the internet is great for saving face while asking such taboo questions. This happens through food coloring, bile, or an excess of vegetables. Consult your doctor if symptoms persist.
5. Why should we hire you?
I is kind, I is smart, I is important.
6. Why are cats afraid of cucumbers?
Debate continues over the numerous instances of cats being terrified by cucumbers. Theories range from "the cats are simply scared of any object unexpectedly placed behind them" to "cucumbers resemble snakes and trigger an inherent flight reflex."
7. Why do dogs eat grass?
Some enjoy the taste of grass, but many do it for nutritional (especially fiber) purposes.
8. Why are cats scared of cucumbers?
Better question: if the searches for questions 6 and 8 were combined, would they have made the top 3? The world will never know.
9. Why do cats purr?
To convey a variety of emotions, often happiness, but sometimes discomfort. Keep those cucumbers away from them.
10. Why did I get married?
Hey pal, you and me both. Kidding!
11. Why do we yawn?
Science isn't entirely sure, but some think it's to bring more oxygen into the blood during slower-breathing periods (when we're tired).
12. Why am I so tired?
Probably because you just read a question about yawning.
13. Why am I always so tired?
Oh, the kiddie gloves are off now, eh? Probably because you've read three questions in a row related to this.
14. Why is Caillou bald?
He was created as an infant, but when he aged, the show decided to keep his unique bald look. The more you know!
15. Why do we dream?
We really don't know. Perhaps dreams are just what the brain happens to do as it rests during the night.
16. Why are flags at half-mast today?
To honor... whatever is going on the day this is asked.
17. Why are firetrucks red?
To help them stand out with a dominant color.
18. Why did the chicken cross the road?
It's a metaphor for death. "The other side" means the afterlife.
19. Why you gotta be so rude?
Don't you know I'm human too?
20. Why do cats knead?
This forward-and-backward motion with the front paws is likely a remnant from kittenhood, where young felines knead to stimulate the flow of milk from their mothers.
21. Why do you want to work here?
22. Why should I hire you?
Going from plural to singular (see question 5) won't change my answer, compadre.
23. Why do men have nipples?
We're not sure, though one scientist jokes "so that men can have the breast of both worlds."
24. Why do men cheat?
In relationships? Because some of us are jerks.
In games? Because I'll be darned if I'm going to lose at Candy Land again.
25. Why do dogs howl?
It's a social tool used to communicate.
26. Why is a raven like a writing desk?
This famous unanswered riddle was presented in Alice in Wonderland. Author Lewis Carroll eventually revealed "both can produce a few notes, though they are very flat."
27. Why is my eye twitching?
You're probably browsing the Facebooks of my exes.
28. Why are flamingos pink?
Actually, they're born with gray feathers; these turn pink through a natural dye, canthaxanthin, in their meals.
29. Why not both meme?
This isn't an actual question, just a search for the humorous "why not both" meme.
30. Why not lease it?
Another non-question looking for the company WhyNotLeaseIt. Hey, why not?
31. Why not me lyrics?
Hombre, you need to be more specific. You looking for The Judds' or Eric Church's song?
32. Why do I sweat so much?
Ew. Er, it could be a condition called hyperhidrosis, or simply nervous sweat. Be sure you're applying antiperspirant, not just deodorant.
33. Why do dogs lick?
It's mostly a sign of affection. They mean well!
34. Why is my period late?
As a guy with limited knowledge of the subject and limited willingness to research it, all I can say is this: it could be a natural fluctuation, or it could mean you're pregnant.
35. Why do my nipples hurt?
What have you been doing in your spare time?
36. Why do my eyes twitch?
Both of them? Sir, you must be fun at parties.
37. Why do dogs eat poop?
Many wild animals do this in an attempt to extract more nutrients from the same food. If your dog is consistently demonstrating such behavior, make sure they're getting a balanced diet.
38. Why do I love you?
Hey, it's hard not to.
39. Why do men love witches?
Let's just say this question didn't begin as "witches."
This largely depends on the guy and whether they want a long-term relationship or a fling.
40. Why is it called Black Friday?
Surprisingly, historians aren't entirely sure, thinking it began as a negative term to describe the heavy traffic of the day.
41. Why do people snore?
Snoring occurs when people can't adequately move air through their throat and nose. While a common issue, take note, as it could indicate certain health problems.
42. Why is my internet so slow?
It could be a virus, a hardware defect, or simply an inexpensive service plan.
43. Why am I so ugly?
Don't talk to me.
44. Why am I always cold?
Obviously, the temperature changes with the season, so dress appropriately. Beyond that, make sure you're eating enough sustenance for your body to convert to heat.
45. Why did Japan attack Pearl Harbor?
A day that will live in infamy, Pearl Harbor would later be judged as a war crime because it happened prior to any declaration of war on America. Japan hoped to disable our naval forces, preventing us from interfering with their invasion plans for various countries.
46. Why am I always hungry?
There's a tone change for ya. Make sure you're eating enough, and make sure it's filling (high-fiber diets should help).
47. Why did Hitler hate Jews?
Back to WWII already? Jews have long been persecuted, and Hitler's particular disdain likely boils down to simply racism: a belief that some races are inherently superior.
48. Why are manhole covers round?
Convenience. Round covers can be rolled and easily placed.
49. Why do we fall?
50. Why do fools fall in love?
Let me go ask my in-laws.
Hopefully you've enjoyed exploring the absurdity of our questions and the silliness of my answers. Admittedly I filtered out some duplicate questions, as well as a few especially vulgar ones, but these are still very much the most-searched questions this past half-year.
Based on what we've seen, we can reasonably conclude people are most curious about their bodies, pets, job interviews, and hairless fictional characters. Seems legit.
Check out the exact list plus other cool data here and I'll see you at our next internet Q&A!
Questions & Answers
Question: Why do we actually need to learn a second language?
Answer: Rest in peace, pig latin.
But in all seriousness, I'm surprised you weren't given a choice; most programs offer several options. Studies to show it's easier to learn languages while you're young, so if there's a time to do it, it's now, and even dead languages can prove useful in academic and historic research.
Question: Why do I get panic attacks?
Answer: Panic attacks aren't well understood, but can be induced by big life changes like moving into the workforce, having a baby, or getting divorced. Genetics may also play a role.
Tips to help avoid or reduce the severity of panic attacks include getting enough sleep, exercise, and social interaction as well as practicing breathing/relaxation techniques.
Question: How do you get all this information?
Answer: I've got connections in high places, or maybe I just access the free search result list.
Question: Why are people different?
Answer: Physically, our DNA and genes cause our bodies to have different phenotypes or physical traits.
As for personalities, there's some controversy in regards to the nature vs. nurture debates, but I tend to place stock in both--perhaps certain characteristics we're born with lead us towards certain habits, but our environment and peers also influence us.
Question: Why do I waste my time with someone who doesn't give me theirs?
Answer: Humans crave companionship and enjoy a challenge. If someone is giving you at least some attention, then we tend to fight for it because it feels like a "victory" when you successfully gain it.
But I think you already know what I'm about to say--try to find people who value you as much as you do them. If you can't seem to encounter them where you're at, look in a new environment.
Question: Why does my baby sister eat soap?
Answer: Maybe she's been picking up some not-so-nice words from you.
Question: Why do people have sex?
Answer: Scientific answer: Most people have an innate urge to; a "sex drive". Humans very possibly evolved in a manner where our bodies reward us for sex with pleasure to help the reproductive cycle and ensure our species' survival.
Casual answer: People are horny and like how it feels.
Question: Why is my daughter assigned Spanish homework?
Answer: Foreign languages are part of the curriculum. If you're American, Spanish makes sense since Mexico is so close.
Question: Why are my friends always late?
Answer: "People aren't against you, but they're for themselves."
If it's convenient for a person to be late, they will be. You can't really change it, but you can help matters by telling them a false arrival time that's earlier than when you'll actually get there, evening the playing field and hopefully having both parties arrive at around the same time.
That said, shoutout to the people who actually come at the scheduled slot, or even better, a bit early.
Question: Why is my height 5'1?
Answer: Genetics and nutrition determine height. It's something about yourself that you can't really help, so try not to worry about it!
Question: Why am I gay?
Answer: I'm no psyche expert, but homosexuality seems to sometimes be present from birth and other times developed from life experiences.
© 2017 Jeremy Gill
Mill on August 15, 2018:
This had me lmao
Sophie on August 13, 2018:
Love the questions
Samridhi on July 16, 2018:
Detta on May 14, 2018:
Ella Starkey on January 17, 2018:
why doesn't my mother love me?
BBYCGN from Uninhabited Regions on November 11, 2017:
Great post! Good answers, too...lol :-)
Jeremy Gill (author) from Louisiana on November 05, 2017:
Thank you! It was fun seeing what the internet was looking for; I hope to try when, what, and how questions in the future.
Anusha Jain from Delhi, India on November 05, 2017:
Some of these were hilarious, yet there were many which surprised me. I mean, some people asking those questions vs. them being one of the top most asked questions... well definitely surprising. Your answers were... shall we say, creative? Funny for sure, apart from the sincere attempts, but you have been really doing some out of the box creative thinking. :)
Jeremy Gill (author) from Louisiana on November 05, 2017:
Very true, I recall reading exactly that during my research. Thanks!
Cheeky Kid from Milky Way on November 05, 2017:
Adding to the manhole bit: Manhole covers are round because they will never fall down the manhole. If it was square, rectangle, or oval, it could fall depending on the angle it slips in.