Need a Bio for Twitter? Try These Ideas
Twitter bios? Who reads those anyways?!
Well, if you think of yourself as a funny human being, then there’s no harm in poking extra fun through the imaginative usage of your Twitter bio. This, my friend, is the reason for the existence of this funky collection.
There’s a fair amount of funny Twitter bio ideas in this collection. All that’s left to do is for you to actually use them. You can also reinvent them if you want.
Go on—make the denizens of the Twitter-verse laugh, one bio at a time!
Humorous Bio Ideas for Twitter
- I had fun once—it was horrible!
- I put the “elation” in “public relations"!
- Too dead to die.
- Life is hard. It’s harder if you’re stupid.
- My mom says I'm special.
- Fresher than you.
- I’m a potato.
- I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes, I’m sleeping.
- it’s all fun and games till it’s not fun and games.
- I'm so good at sleeping i can do it with my eyes closed!
- Disappointed but not surprised.
- Exhale the bullsh*t!
- Sassy, classy, and bad-assy.
- Abnormally normal!
- Recovering ice cream addict.
- Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.
- I prefer my puns intended.
- I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.
- I believe in annoyed at first sight.
- I put “ces” in “success.” Without me, life will just "succ.”
- I’m so much cooler online. Aren’t we all?
- Born at a very young age.
- Normal is boring!
- Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate!
- An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough!
- Naturally and artificially flavored.
- Who’s a good boy? I am!
- I try not to laugh at my jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.
- One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
- So you want to hear a couple of general and useless tweets?
- Adulting is soup and I am a fork.
- Just another papercut survivor.
- You are either on my side, by my side, or in my f*cking way. Choose wisely.
Make People Laugh With These Hilarious Twitter Bios
- I need a 6-month vacation, twice a year!
- I’m here to avoid my friends on Facebook.
- I’m real, and I hope some of my followers are too.
- Oppai daisuki!
- Who reads these anyways?
- If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
- Musty but not yet moldy.
- Pretty from afar, far from pretty.
- Professional overthinker.
- I want to be nice, but everyone annoys me.
- Just dropped my new single. It’s me. I’m single.
- Life in plastic, is fantastic!
- I am the human equivalent of a typo.
- Stay salty.
- Self-love seems so often unrequited.
- Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going.
- I accept bribes.
- I found my Twitter password!
- If you’re a mosquito, unfollow me now.
- Aggressively unfancy.
- Woke up today, it was terrible!
- If I was funny, I would have a good Twitter bio.
- The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
- Weekend, please don’t leave me.
- Better late than never, but never late is better.
- I may not be special, but I’m definitely limited edition!
- I’m here to serve cats!
- I speak fluent sarcasm.
- I know looks aren’t everything, but I have them just in case.
- Washing everything down the sink.
- My preferred pronoun is ‘your majesty.’
- Weird is a side-effect of awesome.
- More issues than vogue.
- I don’t buy what you’re selling.
- Do you think Bob the Builder can fix my bad attitude?
- The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Witty Catchphrases for Your Twitter Bio
- I spent a lot of time on this bio.
- I like bananas!
- I apologize in advance.
- Too unoriginal to make my own bio.
- I’m unique, just like everyone else.
- Roses are red, I’m going to bed.
- To unfollow me, simply don’t follow me.
- 50% idk, 50% idc.
- Why get thinner when you can get more dinner?
- I have the power of god and anime on my side.
- Let's try this thing again, Twitter.
- 160 characters? Impossible, utter madness!
- I believe I could, but I overslept so I didn’t.
- I'm smart but I do dumb things anyway.
- I wish common sense was common.
- People can’t use you if you’re useless.
- Sad, lonely, and bad at math.
- Bad choices make good stories.
- Who cares? I’m awesome!
- Single but too sleepy to mingle.
- Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
- God has a weird sense of humor. Just look at me!
- Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
- Spreading smiles like they’re herpes.
- Professional procrastinator!
- I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am.
- I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
- Go away!
- Waking up every day seems a bit excessive.
- My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.
- It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine!
- I’m not totally useless. You can always use me as a bad example.
- Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.
- No Twitter bio.
- My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Amuse Everyone With These Cool Twitter Bios
- BAE means bacon and eggs.
- I have friends in spite of myself.
- I don’t know what to put on my bio.
- To the moon and never back.
- Say hello to my middle finger.
- Be a fruit loop in a world of cheerios.
- If you’re reading this, it’s too late.
- Ice cream is cheaper than therapy.
- I'm just here to talk to myself and hope people are listening.
- My brain has too many tabs open.
- I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
- At least mosquitoes are attracted to me.
- When you’re downie, eat a brownie.
- Say “yikes” and move on.
- Pudding tastes better with a plastic spoon.
- I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
- A tweet in every 5 minutes will keep the followers away.
- Can’t remember who I stole my Twitter bio from or why.
- Humor comes from self-confidence.
- Probably the best meat eater in the world.
- There’s no “we” in fries!
- Angelic face, devilish thoughts.
- Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?
- If you want to come 2nd, follow me.
- When we put our minds to it, there’s a lot of things we can’t do.
- There are two kinds of people in the world, and I don’t like them both!
- There are many other accounts like this, but this one is mine.
- I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.
Paul Beenis on July 16, 2020:
Andddddddd, BOOKMARKED! This list is very very funny (and punny) (LOL) There is a lot of good stuff in here! Take the "Witty catchphrases for your Twitter BIO" section where you can find witty catchphrases like "I like bananas!". (Hilarious). I might even use some of this in my comedy routine at the country club! Thanks Cheeky Kid!
someone on July 16, 2020:
if you come across someone with one of those bio's then they're probably a 40 year old named suzy.
..cyber on July 03, 2020:
love it it's hilarious
GAGA on June 29, 2020:
Patricia Pixie from Mexico City on June 15, 2020:
I bookmarked your list..haha. Amazing!