How to Hit on a Stormtrooper: Star Wars Pick Up Lines

Updated on June 19, 2013

It is no secret that I've got a thing for Imperial stormtroopers. I just can't help myself around a man in uniform, is all.

Given this particular weaknesses, I have decided to prepare myself for the fateful day that I meat my stormtrooper in white, shiny armor. With pickup lines. Star Wars pickup lines, to be specific.

Folks all about the internet have come up with some incredibly creative zingers, I've come up with a few myself, and I've also heard some great lines out in the wild as well. For your convenience, I've put the best of the best pick up lines together in one centralized place. Never again will you find yourself tongue tied when you run into that uber sexy twi'lek or jedi.

May the Force be with you, if you know what I mean.

Are you an angel???
Are you an angel??? | Source

From Guys to Girls/Guys

If you're a dude, here are some fun ones to play with:

  • Say, why don't we head to me bedroom and see what a true Jedi can do with his light sabre?*
  • I may look like an Ewok, baby, but I'm all Wookie where it counts.
  • I feel a great disturbance... in my pants.
  • I must still be a moisture farmer... 'cuz I'm getting you wet.*
  • Nice buns, Princess! On your head... I mean.
  • Alright, kid, let's blow this thing and go home!*
  • Wanna see what levitation is really good for?
  • Size matters not (said in a Yoda voice)
  • I'd like to see the insides of your tauntaun.*
  • Wonderful girl. Either I'm going to kill you or I'm beginning to like you.
  • I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you.
  • (Leering) There will be no escape for the princess this time.
  • Are you an angel?**

*Is more likely to elicit a slap than a smirk.

**Will definitely elicit a slap- or full out sucker punch, from true Star Wars fans.

Hey sexy. Let's go violate the Jedi Code.
Hey sexy. Let's go violate the Jedi Code. | Source

BONUS: Group Challenge!

The ever-awesome Kangaroo_Jase suggested this one, to be adopted by a group:

Red 7 standing by, Red 3 standing by, Red 11 standing by' and with one of the 'leaders' saying, 'Ok stay in tight formation, the vents tonight, may be ray shielded.

Love it!!

What About You

What would you do if someone served you one of these lines?

See results

Not Gender Specific

These can be delivered by men to women, men to men, women to women, women to men, or Those Of Indeterminate Gender to Those of Indeterminate Gender.

  • [sidling up to your sexy victim] ... The Force is strong with this one.
  • Going somewhere, Solo? .... Want company?
  • You're a wonderful girl/guy. Either I'm going to kill you or I'm beginning to like you.
  • Nice stormtrooper armor. It would look even better on my bedroom floor.
  • I'm here to collect the bounty... ON DAT ASS!
  • I'm not such a bad pilot myself... in bed.
  • Date me, or do not date me. There is no 'just friends'.
  • Looks like you've got your blaster set to stun... because you're stunning!
  • I could get you undressed in less than twelve parsecs.
  • Great ass, kid! It's one in a million!
  • Hey baby, let's go violate the Jedi Code.
  • I knew there was more to you than money!
  • I am a Jedi master... I can teach you a great many things.
  • (Using a Darth Vader voice) I have you now!!
  • Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good [Your Name Here]/man/woman at your side.
  • Is that a lightsaber in your pants, or are you just really happy to see me?
  • Kid, you've been lookin' for love in Alderaan places.
  • I sense something; a sexual magnetism I've not felt since...
  • I find your lack of nudity disturbing (delivered in Darth Vader tone of voice, natch)
  • When I saw you across the crowded cantina, my crotch felt like it went through an instant carbon freeze chamber. (via the awesome jboland)
  • Want to travel through Hyperspace to the Outer Rim Territories? (also via the awesome jboland)

Let us become one with the Force
Let us become one with the Force | Source
  • I'm on a diplomatic mission... to snog you.
  • I'm fast enough for you, old man.
  • [While approaching sexy victim] I sense something... a presence I've not felt since... oh. It's you!
  • I have a a bad feeling about this.
  • The Force will guide our actions.
  • Join me, and we'll rule the galaxy together!
  • There's an awful lot of moisture in here.
  • Want to create a disturbance in the Force?
  • Let's get out of here... it is your destiny.
  • What color is your lightsaber?
  • Let us become one with the Force.
  • Let's say we go to my place and I show you my dark side.
  • Did it hurt when you fell from Cloud City?
  • .... I know.

BONUS! Slightly dirtier ones!

On one very fortunate Friday night, I had the privilege of being sent the following Star Wars pick up lines from a benevolent stranger on the online dating site OKCupid. In addition to being splendidly novel, they're slightly on the raunchier side. Total win!

  • Let me put my lightsaber in your wookie.
  • I'd like to Han your Solo.
  • You can Boba on my fett all day.
  • I want to land on your Calrision.
  • I want you to Jab on my Hutt.
  • Let me tickle your ewok.
  • May my force be inside you.
  • I want to penetrate your Death Star.
  • Let me fire my proton torpedo.

Source

Star Wars Pickup Line RETORTS!

Let's say someone delivers one of the above zingers to you. Well, make sure you're preapred with one of these babies!

  • Great kid, don't get cocky.
  • Into the garbage chute, flyboy.
  • This is not the droid you're looking for. Move along... move along.
  • Control, control, you must learn control!
  • Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
  • Your eyes can deceive you; don't trust them.
  • Hey, point that thing someplace else!
  • And I thought they smelled bad on the outside...
  • We're doomed.
  • Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder! (A classic response, suggested by the splendidly sharp Mentalist acer)

I hope you have fun with these. Feel free to make fun of anyone using them. That's right. Laugh it up, fur ball.

Questions & Answers

    What's the best Star Wars pickup line you can think of?

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      • WestelCS profile image

        Tim Anthony 

        3 years ago

        Really Hilarious! It was too funny and gave a reason to laugh a lot before sleeping. Reading this hub was very entertaining.

      • profile image

        Jon Longshanks 

        4 years ago

        'Simone smith, I should have recognised your foul stench the moment they brought me on board.'

        I'm not short for a storm trooper if you know what I mean. .

        You can't repel sex appeal of this magnitude.

        An entire legion of potential children await you. .

        Your sarlak pit smells worse than a Tom Tom

        Sex with 'Jon Longshanks' is like betting on Sebulba "HE ALWAYS WINS"

      • Zeron87 profile image

        Zeron87 

        5 years ago

        "Don't worry Babygirl, I promise to set it for stun ;)."

      • marion langley profile image

        marion langley 

        5 years ago from The Study

        hehehe I need to share these with my wookie! What a fun topic, so glad you ran with it!

      • beckieland profile image

        Rebecca Mayglothling 

        5 years ago from Binghamton NY

        Funny! I nearly fell over reading the retorts! I especially like, "There are no friends". haha! I shared this with all my Star Wars fanatic friends! Use these lines to find out if that person is really worth dating..... if they don't get it then you definitely don't have a date to the next convention! Move on! Haha!

      • The Reminder profile image

        The Reminder 

        5 years ago from Canada

        Funny stuff. Definitely thumbs up!

      • Grace-Wolf-30 profile image

        Grace-Wolf-30 

        5 years ago from England

        This is hilarious. You have a fantastic imagination (and way with words), look forward to reading more of your hubs : )

      • Carl8033 profile image

        Alexander Okelo 

        5 years ago

        Hahaha, funny :) you just made my day.

      • SkySlave profile image

        Skyler DeCristoforo 

        5 years ago from Olympia, WA

        This had me laughing hysterically! Thanks for sharing these!

      • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

        Simone Haruko Smith 

        5 years ago from San Francisco

        OOOH! Good one, SidKemp!

      • SidKemp profile image

        Sid Kemp 

        5 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach)

        One more retort: Lots of those Star Wars folks turn me on: Storm Troopers, Han Solo, even Darth Vader. But you smell like Jabba the Hutt!

      • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

        Simone Haruko Smith 

        5 years ago from San Francisco

        Hahaa, it's probably a good thing ;)

        Glad you enjoyed these!!

      • Kasman profile image

        Kas 

        6 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

        Okay, I was attempting to verify which movies some of those lines came from and I'm not sure if it's sad that I can or not. A few had me in borderline stitches.

      • profile image

        danielabram 

        6 years ago

        Have you ever seen Model UN pickup lines? Those are hilarious!

      • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

        Simone Haruko Smith 

        6 years ago from San Francisco

        THAT IS SO GOOD!!!!! UGH!

      • profile image

        Chewbacca 

        6 years ago

        "Hey baby, why don't you let your emotions cloud your judgement, and join me on the dark side?"

      • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

        Simone Haruko Smith 

        6 years ago from San Francisco

        THAT IS FANTASTIC!!!

      • profile image

        Bex 

        6 years ago

        A new Star Wars retort: I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to snogging!

      • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

        Simone Haruko Smith 

        6 years ago from San Francisco

        I hope you take 'em for a spin, alanfish91! I've had a ton of fun with these.

      • alanfish91 profile image

        alanfish91 

        6 years ago from Greenfield, Massachusetts

        HahaThis is great!

      • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

        Simone Haruko Smith 

        6 years ago from San Francisco

        Indeed, John!! Amongst certain demographics, geeky jokes get way more laughs than dirty jokes. And amongst certain even narrower demographics, dirty, geeky jokes get more laughs than can ever be imagined.

      • John Sarkis profile image

        John Sarkis 

        6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

        "Want to create a disturbance in the force?" ...dream on...LOL! This hub is very entertaining - who says you can't make people laugh with clean jokes?

        Take care and God Bless

        John

      • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

        Simone Haruko Smith 

        6 years ago from San Francisco

        Leeeeeroooyyyy, I think a great line like that would be worth the slap in the facce it would illicit. I'm quite tempted to give it a go.

        So glad you liked 'em, VeronicaFarkas!

        And hehee, thanks Sunshine625 and RedElf! Jeez- blizzards... it's like you're living in the Hoth system! Guess you might need a tauntaun!

      • RedElf profile image

        RedElf 

        6 years ago from Canada

        Too funny - exactly what I needed tonight - a good laugh while the blizzard rages outside and the internet threatens to go down!

      • Sunshine625 profile image

        Linda Bilyeu 

        6 years ago from Orlando, FL

        Awesomeness Simone!!! LMAO

      • VeronicaFarkas profile image

        Veronica Roberts 

        6 years ago from Ohio, USA

        These are HILARIOUS!! I laughed so hard!

        I hope that you don't mind, but I put a link to this hub on one that I recently created (about pick up lines)! =]

      • profile image

        Leeeeeroooyyyy 

        6 years ago

        @kangaroo_jase

        If i saw some people doing that, i would run up to them and go "I got a visual!!! Locking on! Nail them where it hurts!---Just noticed that was a slap-to-the-face scene about a few seconds later...

      • profile image

        KenHikage 

        6 years ago

        "It's a trap!!!"

      • amy1oowho profile image

        amy1oowho 

        6 years ago from Atlanta

        LOVE IT

      • profile image

        OB1 

        7 years ago

        Oh so that's what they call a warped drive???

      • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

        Simone Haruko Smith 

        7 years ago from San Francisco

        jboland, you are brilliant. I'm adding those in!!

      • jboland profile image

        jboland 

        7 years ago from Chico, CA

        My geek friends must see this....

        "When I saw you across the crowded cantina, my crotch felt like it went through an instant carbon freeze chamber."

        "Want to travel through Hyperspace to the Outer Rim Territories?"

      • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

        Simone Haruko Smith 

        7 years ago from San Francisco

        OH MY GOD. THAT MUST BE ADDED! Doing it now.

      • marek504 profile image

        marek504 

        7 years ago from California

        wonderful run down. I think "laugh it up fur-ball" can fit in there somewhere.

      • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

        Simone Haruko Smith 

        7 years ago from San Francisco

        That's a good one, Wesman Todd Shaw!!

        Thanks for stopping by, thranax. Gotta love that Star Wars shiz.

        Mentalist acer, that is a classic, timeless response. Well played! The logical response, then, of course, is "Who's scruffy looking?"

        Hahaa, love it Hyphenbird!! Heheheee!!!

        You ought to try these ones out, leroy64! Now you've got me thinking of some good lines we could deliver in Jabba's language...

        You just pulled a real good one right there, shea duane! I'm going to use that.

        Sounds like you had a real kicker, 50!

        Well Angie Jardine, if you ever find yourself mentoring a young man on boy-girl relations, I hope you'll feed him some of these lines.

        I bet nearly 90% of these have already been used at Comic Con, Robwrite! Geek humor FTW!

        Don't you just love JD Hancock, melbel? LOVED the Stormtrooper plumbing one you used, BTW.

        Thanks for stopping by The Jet, funmontrealgirl, and QudsiaP1! Thanks for the FB share McCordRM!

        If I ever saw I group of guys pull that one, Kangaroo_Jase, I would die of happiness. It. Is. GOLDEN.

      • QudsiaP1 profile image

        QudsiaP1 

        7 years ago

        Haha, oh my God, I almost died laughing.

      • funmontrealgirl profile image

        funmontrealgirl 

        7 years ago from Montreal

        Hilarious. :)

      • Kangaroo_Jase profile image

        Kangaroo_Jase 

        7 years ago from Melbourne, Australia

        Thought of another one - run around a club with a bunch of friends speaking aloud call sign of red squadron.

        Like 'Red 7 standing by, Red 3 standing by, Red 11 standing by' and with one of the 'leaders' saying, 'Ok stay in tight formation, the vents tonight, may be ray shielded :)

        And Simone, never thought about it possibly being referred to as a thermal exhaust port, going to slap myself for that one...but I will remember it now, lol

      • McCordRM profile image

        McCordRM 

        7 years ago from Texas

        heh... nice. I'm sharing this one with Facebook.

      • The Jet profile image

        The Jet 

        7 years ago from The Bay

        Lol. Funny!

      • melbel profile image

        Melanie Palen 

        7 years ago from Midwest USA

        Haha! Love it! JD Hancock is a superstar on Flickr by now, I have some of his on my hubs. Love the tauntaun joke, reminds me that you can buy a tauntan sleeping bag on thinkgeek. Hilarious!

      • Robwrite profile image

        Rob 

        7 years ago from Oviedo, FL

        Funny stuff. Geek humor. This would go over well at Comic-con.

      • Angie Jardine profile image

        Angie Jardine 

        7 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

        Extremely original, Simone ... I'm just too danged old to use any of them ... and anyway think him indoors might have something to say about it if I did! Voted up!

      • 50 Caliber profile image

        50 Caliber 

        7 years ago from Arizona

        ROTFLMAO.....dang I knew I should have watched that movie, this is absolutely the best in originality for topic.

        I only had one pick up line back when and it got me slapped silly 9 out of 10 times but that tenth time was soooo worth it LOL, 50

      • shea duane profile image

        shea duane 

        7 years ago from new jersey

        i laughed so hard, i almost padawaned my pants!

        sooo funny

      • leroy64 profile image

        Brian L. Powell 

        7 years ago from Dallas, Texas (Oak Cliff)

        Star Wars pickup lines. Hum..... Well my regular pickup lines are not working. I will let you know how they work, if they do work. I would have thought Jabba the Hut would be represented. That name alone should get you slapped.

      • Hyphenbird profile image

        Brenda Barnes 

        7 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

        I needed this laugh. Thanks so much. How about....

        "I'd like to Darth your Vader!"

      • Mentalist acer profile image

        Mentalist acer 

        7 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

        My Reply From A Potential Female Jedi Trainee Would Be:

        Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder.

        Enough Said.;)

      • thranax profile image

        Andrew 

        7 years ago from Rep Boston MA

        LOL. No words can describe this one Simone.

        ~thranax~

      • Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

        Wesman Todd Shaw 

        7 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

        My favorite come on line (very effective - Jedi like) has always been:

        "HELP Emperor Palpentine is trying to find my ____ can you help me hide it?"

        But then again, some are sicker than others. . . .

      • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

        Simone Haruko Smith 

        7 years ago from San Francisco

        Good one, Kangaroo Jase! That could be followed up with "Want my X-wing to shoot some proton torpedoes into your thermal exhaust port?"

        I should slap myself across the face for that one.

      • Kangaroo_Jase profile image

        Kangaroo_Jase 

        7 years ago from Melbourne, Australia

        How is this pickup line - That's no moon, baby, that's a Space Station ;) whilst pointing to certain space gear ( crotch, car, or crib, etc )

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