I'm an obsessive quantified self junkie with a love of new gadgets and a hatred of inaccuracy, pseudo science, and platitudes.
It is no secret that I've got a thing for Imperial stormtroopers. I just can't help myself around a man in uniform, is all.
Given these particular weaknesses, I have decided to prepare myself for the fateful day that I meet my stormtrooper in white, shiny armor. With pickup lines. Star Wars pickup lines, to be specific.
Folks all about the internet have come up with some incredibly creative zingers, I've come up with a few myself, and I've also heard some great lines out in the wild as well. For your convenience, I've put the best of the best pick up lines together in one centralized place. Never again will you find yourself tongue-tied when you run into that uber-sexy twi'lek or Jedi.
May the Force be with you, if you know what I mean.
From Guys to Girls/Guys
If you're a dude, here are some fun ones to play with:
- Say, why don't we head to me bedroom and see what a true Jedi can do with his light sabre?*
- I may look like an Ewok, baby, but I'm all Wookie where it counts.
- I feel a great disturbance... in my pants.
- I must still be a moisture farmer . . . 'cuz I'm getting you wet.*
- Nice buns, Princess! On your head . . . I mean.
- Alright, kid, let's blow this thing and go home!*
- Wanna see what levitation is really good for?
- Size matters not (said in a Yoda voice)
- I'd like to see the insides of your tauntaun.*
- Wonderful girl. Either I'm going to kill you or I'm beginning to like you.
- I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you.
- (Leering) There will be no escape for the princess this time.
- Are you an angel?**
*Is more likely to elicit a slap than a smirk.
**Will definitely elicit a slap- or full out sucker punch, from true Star Wars fans.
These can be delivered by men to women, men to men, women to women, women to men, or Those Of Indeterminate Gender to Those of Indeterminate Gender.
- [sidling up to your sexy victim] . . . The Force is strong with this one.
- Going somewhere, Solo? . . . Want company?
- You're a wonderful girl/guy. Either I'm going to kill you or I'm beginning to like you.
- Nice stormtrooper armor. It would look even better on my bedroom floor.
- I'm here to collect the bounty . . . ON DAT ASS!
- I'm not such a bad pilot myself . . . in bed.
- Date me, or do not date me. There is no 'just friends'.
- Looks like you've got your blaster set to stun . . . because you're stunning!
- I could get you undressed in less than twelve parsecs.
- Great ass, kid! It's one in a million!
- Hey baby, let's go violate the Jedi Code.
- I knew there was more to you than money!
- I am a Jedi master . . . I can teach you a great many things.
- (Using a Darth Vader voice) I have you now!!
- Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good [Your Name Here]/man/woman at your side.
- Is that a lightsaber in your pants, or are you just really happy to see me?
- Kid, you've been lookin' for love in Alderaan places.
- I sense something; a sexual magnetism I've not felt since . . .
- I find your lack of nudity disturbing (delivered in Darth Vader tone of voice, natch)
- When I saw you across the crowded cantina, my crotch felt like it went through an instant carbon freeze chamber. (via the awesome jboland)
- Want to travel through Hyperspace to the Outer Rim Territories? (also via the awesome jboland)
- I'm on a diplomatic mission . . . to snog you.
- I'm fast enough for you, old man.
- [While approaching sexy victim] I sense something . . . a presence I've not felt since . . . oh. It's you!
- I have a bad feeling about this.
- The Force will guide our actions.
- Join me, and we'll rule the galaxy together!
- There's an awful lot of moisture in here.
- Want to create a disturbance in the Force?
- Let's get out of here . . . it is your destiny.
- What color is your lightsaber?
- Let us become one with the Force.
- Let's say we go to my place and I show you my dark side.
- Did it hurt when you fell from Cloud City?
- . . . I know.
BONUS! Slightly Dirtier Ones!
On one very fortunate Friday night, I had the privilege of being sent the following Star Wars pick up lines from a benevolent stranger on the online dating site OkCupid. In addition to being splendidly novel, they're slightly on the raunchier side. Total win!
- Let me put my lightsaber in your Wookie.
- I'd like to Han your Solo.
- You can Boba on my fett all day.
- I want to land on your Calrissian.
- I want you to Jab on my Hutt.
- Let me tickle your Ewok.
- May my force be inside you.
- I want to penetrate your Death Star.
- Let me fire my proton torpedo.
More Star Wars Pickup Line Fun
- 8 Star Wars Pickup Lines - Dorkly Article
Some of this article's lines come from this post- complete with hilarious image macros. Check it out, yo.
Star Wars Pickup Line RETORTS!
Let's say someone delivers one of the above zingers to you. Well, make sure you're prepared with one of these babies!
- Great kid, don't get cocky.
- Into the garbage chute, flyboy.
- This is not the droid you're looking for. Move along . . . move along.
- Control, control, you must learn control!
- Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
- Your eyes can deceive you; don't trust them.
- Hey, point that thing someplace else!
- And I thought they smelled bad on the outside . . .
- We're doomed.
- Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder! (A classic response, suggested by the splendidly sharp Mentalist acer)
I hope you have fun with these. Feel free to make fun of anyone using them. That's right. Laugh it up, furball.
What's the best Star Wars pickup line you can think of?
Tim Anthony on March 02, 2015:
Really Hilarious! It was too funny and gave a reason to laugh a lot before sleeping. Reading this hub was very entertaining.
Jon Longshanks on May 30, 2014:
'Simone smith, I should have recognised your foul stench the moment they brought me on board.'
I'm not short for a storm trooper if you know what I mean. .
You can't repel sex appeal of this magnitude.
An entire legion of potential children await you. .
Your sarlak pit smells worse than a Tom Tom
Sex with 'Jon Longshanks' is like betting on Sebulba "HE ALWAYS WINS"
Zeron87 on July 01, 2013:
"Don't worry Babygirl, I promise to set it for stun ;)."
marion langley from The Study on July 01, 2013:
hehehe I need to share these with my wookie! What a fun topic, so glad you ran with it!
Rebecca Mayglothling from Binghamton NY on July 01, 2013:
Funny! I nearly fell over reading the retorts! I especially like, "There are no friends". haha! I shared this with all my Star Wars fanatic friends! Use these lines to find out if that person is really worth dating..... if they don't get it then you definitely don't have a date to the next convention! Move on! Haha!
The Reminder from Canada on June 30, 2013:
Funny stuff. Definitely thumbs up!
Grace-Wolf-30 from England on June 30, 2013:
This is hilarious. You have a fantastic imagination (and way with words), look forward to reading more of your hubs : )
Carl Junior on June 19, 2013:
Hahaha, funny :) you just made my day.
Skyler DeCristoforo from Olympia, WA on June 19, 2013:
This had me laughing hysterically! Thanks for sharing these!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on May 20, 2013:
OOOH! Good one, SidKemp!
Sid Kemp from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach) on May 01, 2013:
One more retort: Lots of those Star Wars folks turn me on: Storm Troopers, Han Solo, even Darth Vader. But you smell like Jabba the Hutt!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on December 17, 2012:
Hahaa, it's probably a good thing ;)
Glad you enjoyed these!!
Kas from Bartlett, Tennessee on December 10, 2012:
Okay, I was attempting to verify which movies some of those lines came from and I'm not sure if it's sad that I can or not. A few had me in borderline stitches.
danielabram on August 06, 2012:
Have you ever seen Model UN pickup lines? Those are hilarious!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on May 29, 2012:
THAT IS SO GOOD!!!!! UGH!
Chewbacca on May 25, 2012:
"Hey baby, why don't you let your emotions cloud your judgement, and join me on the dark side?"
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on February 10, 2012:
THAT IS FANTASTIC!!!
Bex on February 09, 2012:
A new Star Wars retort: I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to snogging!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on February 06, 2012:
I hope you take 'em for a spin, alanfish91! I've had a ton of fun with these.
alanfish91 from Greenfield, Massachusetts on February 03, 2012:
HahaThis is great!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on January 27, 2012:
Indeed, John!! Amongst certain demographics, geeky jokes get way more laughs than dirty jokes. And amongst certain even narrower demographics, dirty, geeky jokes get more laughs than can ever be imagined.
John Sarkis from Winter Haven, FL on January 22, 2012:
"Want to create a disturbance in the force?" ...dream on...LOL! This hub is very entertaining - who says you can't make people laugh with clean jokes?
Take care and God Bless
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on January 16, 2012:
Leeeeeroooyyyy, I think a great line like that would be worth the slap in the facce it would illicit. I'm quite tempted to give it a go.
So glad you liked 'em, VeronicaFarkas!
And hehee, thanks Sunshine625 and RedElf! Jeez- blizzards... it's like you're living in the Hoth system! Guess you might need a tauntaun!
RedElf from Canada on January 14, 2012:
Too funny - exactly what I needed tonight - a good laugh while the blizzard rages outside and the internet threatens to go down!
Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL on January 14, 2012:
Awesomeness Simone!!! LMAO
Veronica Roberts from Ohio, USA on January 14, 2012:
These are HILARIOUS!! I laughed so hard!
I hope that you don't mind, but I put a link to this hub on one that I recently created (about pick up lines)! =]
Leeeeeroooyyyy on January 13, 2012:
If i saw some people doing that, i would run up to them and go "I got a visual!!! Locking on! Nail them where it hurts!---Just noticed that was a slap-to-the-face scene about a few seconds later...
KenHikage on January 06, 2012:
"It's a trap!!!"
amy1oowho from Atlanta on January 02, 2012:
OB1 on November 29, 2011:
Oh so that's what they call a warped drive???
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on September 22, 2011:
jboland, you are brilliant. I'm adding those in!!
jboland from Chico, CA on September 21, 2011:
My geek friends must see this....
"When I saw you across the crowded cantina, my crotch felt like it went through an instant carbon freeze chamber."
"Want to travel through Hyperspace to the Outer Rim Territories?"
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on September 21, 2011:
OH MY GOD. THAT MUST BE ADDED! Doing it now.
marek504 from California on September 20, 2011:
wonderful run down. I think "laugh it up fur-ball" can fit in there somewhere.
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on September 16, 2011:
That's a good one, Wesman Todd Shaw!!
Thanks for stopping by, thranax. Gotta love that Star Wars shiz.
Mentalist acer, that is a classic, timeless response. Well played! The logical response, then, of course, is "Who's scruffy looking?"
Hahaa, love it Hyphenbird!! Heheheee!!!
You ought to try these ones out, leroy64! Now you've got me thinking of some good lines we could deliver in Jabba's language...
You just pulled a real good one right there, shea duane! I'm going to use that.
Sounds like you had a real kicker, 50!
Well Angie Jardine, if you ever find yourself mentoring a young man on boy-girl relations, I hope you'll feed him some of these lines.
I bet nearly 90% of these have already been used at Comic Con, Robwrite! Geek humor FTW!
Don't you just love JD Hancock, melbel? LOVED the Stormtrooper plumbing one you used, BTW.
Thanks for stopping by The Jet, funmontrealgirl, and QudsiaP1! Thanks for the FB share McCordRM!
If I ever saw I group of guys pull that one, Kangaroo_Jase, I would die of happiness. It. Is. GOLDEN.
QudsiaP1 on September 12, 2011:
Haha, oh my God, I almost died laughing.
funmontrealgirl from Montreal on September 09, 2011:
Kangaroo_Jase from Melbourne, Australia on September 08, 2011:
Thought of another one - run around a club with a bunch of friends speaking aloud call sign of red squadron.
Like 'Red 7 standing by, Red 3 standing by, Red 11 standing by' and with one of the 'leaders' saying, 'Ok stay in tight formation, the vents tonight, may be ray shielded :)
And Simone, never thought about it possibly being referred to as a thermal exhaust port, going to slap myself for that one...but I will remember it now, lol
Richard McCord from Texas on September 06, 2011:
heh... nice. I'm sharing this one with Facebook.
The Jet from The Bay on September 06, 2011:
Melanie Palen from Midwest, USA on September 06, 2011:
Haha! Love it! JD Hancock is a superstar on Flickr by now, I have some of his on my hubs. Love the tauntaun joke, reminds me that you can buy a tauntan sleeping bag on thinkgeek. Hilarious!
Rob from Oviedo, FL on September 06, 2011:
Funny stuff. Geek humor. This would go over well at Comic-con.
Angie Jardine from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... on September 06, 2011:
Extremely original, Simone ... I'm just too danged old to use any of them ... and anyway think him indoors might have something to say about it if I did! Voted up!
50 Caliber from Arizona on September 06, 2011:
ROTFLMAO.....dang I knew I should have watched that movie, this is absolutely the best in originality for topic.
I only had one pick up line back when and it got me slapped silly 9 out of 10 times but that tenth time was soooo worth it LOL, 50
shea duane from new jersey on September 06, 2011:
i laughed so hard, i almost padawaned my pants!
Brian L. Powell from Dallas, Texas (Oak Cliff) on September 06, 2011:
Star Wars pickup lines. Hum..... Well my regular pickup lines are not working. I will let you know how they work, if they do work. I would have thought Jabba the Hut would be represented. That name alone should get you slapped.
Brenda Barnes from America-Broken But Still Beautiful on September 06, 2011:
I needed this laugh. Thanks so much. How about....
"I'd like to Darth your Vader!"
Mentalist acer from A Voice in your Mind! on September 06, 2011:
My Reply From A Potential Female Jedi Trainee Would Be:
Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder.
Andrew from Rep Boston MA on September 06, 2011:
LOL. No words can describe this one Simone.
Wesman Todd Shaw from Kaufman, Texas on September 05, 2011:
My favorite come on line (very effective - Jedi like) has always been:
"HELP Emperor Palpentine is trying to find my ____ can you help me hide it?"
But then again, some are sicker than others. . . .
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on September 05, 2011:
Good one, Kangaroo Jase! That could be followed up with "Want my X-wing to shoot some proton torpedoes into your thermal exhaust port?"
I should slap myself across the face for that one.
Kangaroo_Jase from Melbourne, Australia on September 05, 2011:
How is this pickup line - That's no moon, baby, that's a Space Station ;) whilst pointing to certain space gear ( crotch, car, or crib, etc )