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The Many Types of Facebook Status Updates

What's Your Status?

Facebook is probably the most popular social networking site on the internet right now.  Just about everyone who uses the internet is currently on Facebook.  Some of us even have more than one profile on Facebook.  So why is it so popular?  I believe it has something to do with the status updates.

There is a certain art to the status update.  Everyone has their own style and most people use a variety of status updates.  The status updates help everyone keep in touch with each other and receive mini-updates on friends' lives.  No one has to call anyone or even meet up with someone face to face anymore.  You open up Facebook, read some status updates, get a sense of how life is going for your friend or relative, and then go on with your life.  It is convenient and fast (and impersonal). 

Since status updates are so popular, there are certain trends in status updates.  Some types of status updates you can see over and over again on Facebook.  I would like to explore the many types of Facebook status updates.

The Melodramatic Update

Example: "I don't know how I can continue with life this way. If something doesn't change soon, I am throwing myself off a cliff."

Aside from being called the Melodramatic Update, these updates are also known as the Drama Queen Update or the Dramatic Update. This is a person crying out for attention. These are the same people that always have some kind of real life drama going on in their lives. What the person really wants is a response from someone that goes something like this, "Oh no! What happened?"

You know what you should do? Ignore them. If your friend was really that depressed, he or she would not be putting trivial updates like this on Facebook. This is not serious. It is someone trying to suck you into their drama. Don't do it.


The Passive Aggressive Update

Example: "It is all that slut's fault that Fred broke up with me!"

Wait a minute.... what slut? Is there a backstory to this and we don't know about it? Of course there is a backstory! This status update is not even intended for a general audience. Chances are, "the slut" is on her friend list and she wants just that one person to read the status update. Obviously, it would be way too mature for someone to actually approach the person and say it to her face. Instead, why not just post it online?

These status updates are very similar to the Melodramatic Update, but this is geared towards just one person. The person who posted this does not have the nerve to actually approach "the slut." Instead, she will use this as a way to vent her frustrations and play the part of the victim. We'll probably never hear the other side of the story unless "the slut" confronts her online and a Facebook catfight begins.

The Mundane Update

Example: "I just went to the grocery store and bought cheese."

Wow.  Really?  Please, at least tell me you got it on sale or something.  What a boring update.  If this is the best you can do, you might want to stay away from updating anyone until you have something else to say.

The I Hate Work Update

Example: "Bob in IT just said I am playing my music too loud in my cubicle. I HATE him! Maybe he should spend more time fixing the network, which is down again, and less time judging me. Now I have another meeting and I am behind on my project again. I hate Mondays!"

Oh boy, this is a popular status update. I will admit I am really guilty about posting this type of update. Sometimes when at work, the computer is your only outlet for frustration. You have to be careful about this type of update though. You'd better have a private profile for this one.  If your boss sees it, you may have more free time for Facebook while unemployed.

The My Life is So Exciting Update

Example: "Just got back from my week long Caribbean cruise.  I almost don't have enough time to pack for my business trip in Florida in 2 days."

When you read these updates, don't you just want to punch a hole through the monitor?  I am sure whoever posts updates like this does not realize how annoying they sound.  Perhaps they've been to so many wonderful places and their lives are full of so much excitement that they do not even remember what it is like to just sit at home and read stuff like that on the computer.  Sigh.  At least this status update is better than a mundane one.

The Inside Joke Update

Example: "Gorillas! That is all I have to say."

Usually after a status update like this, at least a few other people respond with equally confusing comments about gorillas. Most of their responses include short sentences or just a word or two.

What are you talking about? If you are not going to share with the rest of us, stop being so annoying and using that as a status update.

Source

The Too Much Information Update

Example:  "I am still really itchy, but at least that rash is clearing up.  Don't ever use the toilets at Todd's house."

Oh, wow.  That was really gross, yet informative.  I did need to know that if I know Todd, but why are you sharing that with the world?  Is your mom on Facebook?  Is your boss?  Thanks for sharing, but no thanks.

The Funny Status Update

Example:  "I am stuck under the computer right now.  Someone come and save me!"

OK.  I guess we need a little humor here and there, and why not express it on Facebook?  This is sure more fun to read than most other updates. 

The Lyric Status Update

Example: "I woke up this morning feeling like P. Diddy."

Oh, thanks Ke$ha, when did I friend you on Facebook? The Lyric Status Update is a way to convey a message to your friends in a poetic way by using song lyrics. Some people alter the lyrics to be creative, while other people quote directly from a song. For some reason, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga, and Kings of Leon are quoted a lot.

The Repost Status Update

Example:  "If you hate cancer, repost this as your status update."

Well, that is awfully bossy.  I have a different status update I want to use today.  So what happens if I do not repost this?  Do I seem like an insensitive, cancer-loving jerk?  I assure you, I hate cancer just like everyone else, but I want the freedom to express myself however I please while using Facebook.  OK.  I guess I am an insensitive jerk after all.  I guess I'll repost it. 

The Ultimatum Status Update

Example: "I am going to clean up my friend list this weekend. If I don't hear from you by Friday, I am going to unfriend you."

Really? Is that what it comes down to now? If I don't send you a message and beg to be your friend, you are going to defriend me on Facebook? Wow. Thanks, Grandma. I thought you loved me.

The Ultimatum Status Update is quite popular with folks that have, oh, I don't know... around a thousand friends. They friend everyone, get overwhelmed, and then start weeding people out. If you don't say something nice, you are gone. Usually a person decides to do this because the status updates (probably like some listed above) have gotten out of hand. One or two people just become so annoying that others must suffer, too. Of course, it would not be so nice to just defriend the one or two offenders; just delete 100 people at once and the offender will never be offended!

The General Update

Example: "I am on Hubpages writing a hub about status updates. Thinking about going to lunch at Panera's after this. Anyone interested?"

Yes, sometimes people just have a normal status update they want to share. These updates include a normal activity and perhaps a "shout out" to friends to see if they would also like to engage in a normal activity with you. Sometimes we all get a little bored and decide to post a general update. There is nothing wrong with that. Typically, it does not cause any fights, any jealous fits, and it annoys no one.

So for now, perhaps it is time for me to sign off here and sign on to Facebook. Perhaps I will post a general status update right now!

Copyright ©2011 Jeannieinabottle

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Comments 61 comments

DrewCaveney profile image

DrewCaveney 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Very true! However I would say that people never, ever, put peoples names in status'. It's always 'That slut ruined my relationship with him!'. People are never brave enough to say peoples names in status'.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

You know, you might be right about that one now that I think about it. Every now and then I see someone brave enough to use real names, but never the name of the person they insulting.

Thanks for the comment!


seriousnuts profile image

seriousnuts 5 years ago from Philippines

I enjoyed reading your hub. I agree with you. Some facebook statuses are just so annoying, especially the passive aggressive statuses. People could really act immature sometimes. It's really annoying to see my facebook feeds being flooded by negative aura. I have some friends who always post those types of messages. It really gets on my nerves that I rarely read feeds anymore.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

This is so true. Sometimes I feel the need to read the feeds just to know what is going on, but sometimes I get very frustrated. If someone is not brave enough to say something to my face, then they should not say it online. Thank you for the comment!


cheerfulnuts profile image

cheerfulnuts 5 years ago from Manila, Philippines

"Gorillas! That is all I have to say." LOL.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

The gorillas thank you for the comment. :-)


Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 5 years ago from Virginia

Very funny hub Jeannieinabottle....thanks for making me laugh on an otherwise not so fun day....voted up and funny


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am glad I could make you laugh. I've had some tough days recently myself, so I understand. Thanks for the vote up and the comment.


PaulGoodman67 profile image

PaulGoodman67 5 years ago from Florida USA

Great read! I was thoroughly entertained! :-)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks for the comment!


Ldrtchbrd profile image

Ldrtchbrd 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

Great hub! This should be required reading for anyone on Facebook! LOL :)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks for reading my hub. Yes, maybe people do need to learn what to post (or what not to post!) on Facebook.


nycgrl profile image

nycgrl 5 years ago from New York

I am so guilty of the i hate my job status updates. the joke amongst my family and friends is, "oh veronica hate her job? whatever gave you that idea...first time I am hearing about it" lol. It's true that during the day FB is your only outlet for frustration but I am very careful about privacy to make sure nobody at my job sees it. I absolutely hate the "braggers" that make their life more exciting than what it is. I had a friend who constantly was like "i have the best boyfriend ever!" i finally put her on "hide" status and honestly it makes me think her relationship really sucks because if it was so great she wouldn't have time to post to FB she would be with this amazing boyfriend. People who do that just use their status to validate their pathetic lives by making other people feel bad


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

That is so true. If you have to constantly tell people how great your life is going, maybe it is really not so. And yes, Facebook can be a great outlet for frustration. I do complain quite a bit about my job. Sometimes Facebook is all I have. Thanks for the comment!


roshall profile image

roshall 5 years ago from Ohio

You are so right about facebook,but i also learned a lot from your hub thanks,and it was a great hub.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you for your comment! Facebook is full of ridiculous status updates.


janellelk 5 years ago

The mundane ones are the worst. I HATE the repost status updates! No kidding everyone hates cancer, children starving, war, etc. It's spam that clouds up my news feed. Ugh.. Lol, sorry. My comment sounds similar to the I hate work update.

Thanks for the hub!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks for the comment. Trust me, I understand. Some updates are so annoying. It does not make me a bad person if I would rather post something fun and not some depressing reposted update. And your comment does not sound like a I hate work status. :-)


mjfarns profile image

mjfarns 5 years ago from Bloomington, Illinois USA

I LOVE this kind of sociological categorizing! Great hub!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am glad you liked it. There are simply certain types of categories for every webpage. Thanks for the comment!


mjfarns profile image

mjfarns 5 years ago from Bloomington, Illinois USA

Oh yeah you definitely nailed it. This hub is an anthropological masterpiece!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks!


Larry Okeke profile image

Larry Okeke 5 years ago from Enugu, Nigeria

Banging hub! This is the first time am reading a hubber who writes without forgetting his sense of humour. I'll be on my toes till your next hub is out! And by the way, i have a terribly short list of friends on face book. Any ideas as to how i can change that positively?


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am glad you enjoyed the hub. I am not sure how you can win over new people for your friend list though. Honestly, I have a rather short list, too. Thanks for dropping by!


tsmog profile image

tsmog 5 years ago from Escondido, CA

Thanks for this hub Jeannie, I just commented on fb I need to learn it over again. This is very helpful for me. Now, if I can just figure out how to navigate there. Fantastic humorously written with flare, while giving me pause. I really don't know how it works. Thank you for a fun filled moment or two, cause to wander there later and look about, and discover their learning center - smile.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks for checking out my hub! Good luck figuring out Facebook. They change it so much that no one can keep up anymore. It is about to change again soon, so don't get too attached to the way it looks now.


Irell VL profile image

Irell VL 4 years ago

I would have to say I am guilty of a few of these haha. This was a great read, very informative.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks! I am glad you enjoyed it. I am guilty of some of these, too, so don't feel too bad. :-)


bagsofwater profile image

bagsofwater 4 years ago from USA

this is an incredibly unique hub! I enjoyed it tremendously, very useful. I wonder if FB has access or will ever ban certain updates and if so, which ones have been banned already.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks for reading and for the comment! I am happy you liked the hub so much. I don't know if Facebook ever bans status updates. I think they pretty much let people do whatever they want.


htodd profile image

htodd 4 years ago from United States

Lots of updates ..sometimes confusing


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Yes, some updates can be very confusing. Thanks for the comment!


Pinkchic18 profile image

Pinkchic18 4 years ago from Minnesota

Voted up and awesome. I only update my facebook status when something is funny or amazing. My biggest pet peeve status update is on a thursday afternoon someone says "SO glad today is my friday! I'm off tomorrow!!" oye..


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I know exactly what you mean! It is so annoying when people must rub everyone's noses in the fact that it is "Friday for them." So not cool! Thanks for the votes!


i_am_monk profile image

i_am_monk 4 years ago from Newcastle, Tyne and Wear, England

Great hub, it certainly made me laugh. It is oh so true as well, keep the good work up!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am glad you liked it. Thanks for dropping by!


inmyfeelings profile image

inmyfeelings 4 years ago from Annapolis, MD

I absolutely loved, loved LOVED this! definitely on point!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you! I am happy you enjoyed it. :-)


smartrich22 profile image

smartrich22 4 years ago from Bandung, Indonesia

Hi Jean,

Nice explanation about the types of Facebook statuses, but for sometimes status updates it's not telling the truth instead lie, because it's Facebook!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

This is true - there are many reasons a person posts an update. Sometimes people are just being honest! Thanks for reading my hub!


Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 4 years ago from Virginia

Happy birthday...one of my favorite hubs that you have written....sharing this link here and on my next favorite site...ChimeIn.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much! I really appreciate it. I've gotten about 400 hits now. Obviously, I need to join ChimeIn. Thanks for the happy birthday wishes, too!


Bigpayno profile image

Bigpayno 4 years ago from Indianapolis, Indiana

Great Great Hub. This is so true!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it.


the-remedy profile image

the-remedy 4 years ago from Houston

You nearly narrowed down all the different types of updates, pretty observant. I try to keep mine on a jipper note & sometimes humorous to reflect my personality Everything shouldn't be for the public, ya know? Great hub.


MelChi profile image

MelChi 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

Hehehe, this was hilarious! It's so true though. What about those annoying and really uninteresting updates that say "Bedtime", or "Off to work I go"?


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

the-remedy - I know exactly what you mean. Lately, I have been trying to keep my status updates a little more optimistic. This is mostly because of this very hub. I realized I did whine way too much about work. Furthermore, you are right... everything shouldn't be for the public. Thanks for the comment!

MelChi - I often wonder why the mundane updates get posted as well. I guess some people believe they are really that awesome that people want to know their every move. I guess it must be fun to be them. Thanks for dropping by my hub!


internetgeek profile image

internetgeek 4 years ago from Hyderabad, India.

Oh! This is such an interesting Hub on types of status updates. I specially liked the "The Ultimatum Status Update", it's really crazy. Thanks and voted up :)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am happy you enjoyed it. I see "The Ultimatum Status Update" all the time now. People are constantly "cleaning up" their friend lists. I just basically only friend people I know and like, so I don't seem to have that issue. Thanks for the comment and the vote up!


internetgeek profile image

internetgeek 4 years ago from Hyderabad, India.

Just saw you Hubber score of 100. Congrats :)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much! I tends to go up and down a bit. It will probably be at 97 tomorrow. Hehe.


cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

Jeannieinabottle - your hub had me at "status update" Hehe. This is too funny. I loved the gorilla line. You have a knack in status update expression. Perhaps that's why 108 people have posted this to facebook - as of the time I put this comment in. Nice! :)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

108 people! I honestly had not noticed that until you put the number in your comment. I thought... no way! But yes! Thanks for the comment and I am glad you enjoyed the hub. For some reason, people really love hubs about Facebook. :-)


MikeInkster profile image

MikeInkster 4 years ago from Calgary, Alberta

Agree that there are so many updates on Facebook and Twitter, that need not to be there. Most of these people also do not realize many employers use Facebook to see want is on there FB pages. I may make a post on your FB page that a possible employer may not appreciate. There goes my JOB. In simple terms be careful.

I know of people that have a FB page that is not in there real name, this may cause a serious problem down the road for someone else.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Yes, there is way too much oversharing on Facebook. I can't believe how many people friend their boss and then say ridiculously inappropriate things on Facebook. Perhaps they want to get fired. Thanks for your comment!


tattuwurn 4 years ago

I post any of those kinds of status depending on my mood. To add to that there's also the "greeting" status, eg., "Good morning everyone! Weekend is on, yipee!"

I also do "quote" status if I find an exceptionally good one, good enough to be shared.

On the mundane type, if you're a celeb, even the most worthless status still generate buzz. Hahahahaha.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I also do these types of status updates. I used to be guilty of posting whiny work updates all the time. I have cut back posting those though. I realized how annoying I was when I wrote this hub! Hehe. You are so right... celebs can post just about anything and people will read it. Thanks for checking out my hub and thanks for the comment!


swathi180 profile image

swathi180 3 years ago

I have never imagined this could be the subject of the article. I just log into my FB account check out some shares and then logout. Informative .


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hahaha... there are many types of status updates out there and someone has to cover them! Thanks for checking out my hub.


sunilkunnoth2012 profile image

sunilkunnoth2012 3 years ago from Calicut (Kozhikode, South India)

The new trend is go for FB and everyone use it. Your article is informative as well useful to all those who use social media sites such as FB. Shared with joy on my FB account. Thanks for sharing a few tips. Voted up.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you. I am happy you enjoyed my hub.

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    Jeannie InABottle (Jeannieinabottle)1,161 Followers
    440 Articles

    Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 5 years. She covers a wide variety of topics - anything from hamsters to office work.



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