When Instagram Is Depressing You Here's What You Should Do Instead - TurboFuture - Technology
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When Instagram Is Depressing You Here's What You Should Do Instead

Author:

Em is a millennial who's learned through therapy to limit social media as a way to balance her diagnosed mood disorder.

What to Do When Instagram is Making You Depressed and Anxious

Delete the app

"Forget" your password

Make sure your contacts are updated

Give yourself a couple days off

Get a magazine rack for your bathroom

Get some fidget toys

Create two new daily habits

Create a list of short term goals

Come up with one really big long term goal

Are You Addicted to Instagram?

For each question, choose the best answer for you.

  1. How many times have you tapped into the app already today?
    • Oh, I still have to get in there. Thanks for the reminder!
    • Only a handful of times.
    • Like, fifty? I think?
    • I'm scrolling right now, lol.
  2. How many people are you following?
    • Less than 50, I just like to keep up with my family, close friends a few accounts that inspire me.
    • Somewhere around 100
    • I'm thinking 200-300
    • Uhhh I don't know, going towards 1,000
  3. You're thinking about asking your friend if she wants to grab a drink after work - what do you do?
    • Text her on my lunch break to see what she's up to.
    • Check her Insta stories first, to see if she already has plans for tonight.
  4. Your friend said yes. Wow! You're out at the new whiskey bar. What's the vibe?
    • We're cracking up over our inside jokes.
    • It's a little awkward at first but we finally put our phones down and haven't picked them up since our drinks landed.
    • Chill I guess, we're just sorting through the selfies we took out front to see which ones to post to our stories.
  5. Holy crap. Your friend had one too many and missed the last step on the stairs on your way out. What was your reaction?
    • Check to make sure she's okay! You always keep a first aid kit in your bag and now's the time to crack it open.
    • Laugh and then snap a couple pics to upload. Everyone's gonna know the great time ya'll had!
  6. How often do you get into arguments with people in your DMs or in the comments?
    • Rarely if ever.
    • Once in a while. It's hard for me not to stand up against injustice when I see it.
    • Often. I'm kind of notorious for it, tbh.
  7. You're having a snack before bed and...
    • Chatting with your partner about this bananas thing you read on Google News.
    • Watching Netflix
    • Scrollllllliiiiiiing
    • Hate scrolling passt all of the fitness accounts you follow
    • Adding the snack to your stories. EVERYONE needs to know about this new non gmo, calorie free cheese brand OMG SO GOOD
  8. How much money have you dropped on Insta Story sales this month?
    • Eh, I don't think I've done that this month.
    • Maybe $20? Support small businesses!
    • Half my last paycheck.
  9. Be real. Does your best friend's feed make you love them less?
    • No way. My best friend isn't on Instagram.
    • Maybe a little. I know they're not really eating carrots for breakfast.
    • We're only best friends on Instagram so idk.

Scoring

Use the scoring guide below to add up your total points based on your answers.

  1. How many times have you tapped into the app already today?
    • Oh, I still have to get in there. Thanks for the reminder!: +0 points
    • Only a handful of times.: +1 point
    • Like, fifty? I think?: +3 points
    • I'm scrolling right now, lol.: +4 points
  2. How many people are you following?
    • Less than 50, I just like to keep up with my family, close friends a few accounts that inspire me.: +0 points
    • Somewhere around 100: +2 points
    • I'm thinking 200-300: +3 points
    • Uhhh I don't know, going towards 1,000: +4 points
  3. You're thinking about asking your friend if she wants to grab a drink after work - what do you do?
    • Text her on my lunch break to see what she's up to.: +0 points
    • Check her Insta stories first, to see if she already has plans for tonight.: +2 points
  4. Your friend said yes. Wow! You're out at the new whiskey bar. What's the vibe?
    • We're cracking up over our inside jokes.: +0 points
    • It's a little awkward at first but we finally put our phones down and haven't picked them up since our drinks landed.: +1 point
    • Chill I guess, we're just sorting through the selfies we took out front to see which ones to post to our stories.: +3 points
  5. Holy crap. Your friend had one too many and missed the last step on the stairs on your way out. What was your reaction?
    • Check to make sure she's okay! You always keep a first aid kit in your bag and now's the time to crack it open.: +0 points
    • Laugh and then snap a couple pics to upload. Everyone's gonna know the great time ya'll had!: +4 points
  6. How often do you get into arguments with people in your DMs or in the comments?
    • Rarely if ever.: +0 points
    • Once in a while. It's hard for me not to stand up against injustice when I see it.: +2 points
    • Often. I'm kind of notorious for it, tbh.: +4 points
  7. You're having a snack before bed and...
    • Chatting with your partner about this bananas thing you read on Google News.: +0 points
    • Watching Netflix: +0 points
    • Scrollllllliiiiiiing: +1 point
    • Hate scrolling passt all of the fitness accounts you follow: +2 points
    • Adding the snack to your stories. EVERYONE needs to know about this new non gmo, calorie free cheese brand OMG SO GOOD: +4 points
  8. How much money have you dropped on Insta Story sales this month?
    • Eh, I don't think I've done that this month.: +0 points
    • Maybe $20? Support small businesses!: +1 point
    • Half my last paycheck.: +4 points
  9. Be real. Does your best friend's feed make you love them less?
    • No way. My best friend isn't on Instagram.: -1 point
    • Maybe a little. I know they're not really eating carrots for breakfast.: +1 point
    • We're only best friends on Instagram so idk.: +3 points

Interpreting Your Score

A score between -1 and 8 means: You're really doing pretty good with this whole setting-boundaries-with-social-media thing. You might take an occasional scroll on the toilet but you're not looking to Insta for all of your self worth and gratification. Good job! Keep it up!

A score between 9 and 18 means: It wouldn't hurt to be more mindful with your scrolling, like unfollowing those Hons from your high school, but otherwise you're doing alright!

A score between 19 and 25 means: You're mildly addicted. Come on now, look up at the beautiful world around you and maybe just don't add it to your story for once? It'll feel awkward at first but give it a full day and you'll be feeling super fresh.

A score between 26 and 28 means: I'll be real here, it's not great. You definitely need to take a look at your social media habits and reassess how often you're engaging with the app, and why. Posting several times a day and spending each meal sending emoji reactions to the folks you follow is borderline. Chill.

A score between 29 and 32 means: It time for an intervention and I mean business here. Delete the app and read on to come up with a plan for detoxing. Sh*ts so serious you probably don't even realize how much your social media habits are affecting your mood and relationships. Has it ever occurred to you that you can take a breath or have a thought without igniting it into Instagram?

I'm not big on resolutions, they stress me out and oftentimes they're based on this version of myself I think I should be, not who I really want to become. Still, I always get a bit reflective at the end of each year and while I tucked away the holiday décor in my tiny apartment, contemplating the coming year, it occurred to me that I wasn't feeling very hopeful about the coming months. After one particularly long chat with my therapist I found that more than anything else, when I'm anxious, I turn to my phone. But I'm not just twiddling around on there, I'm doing something very specific: I'm scrolling through Instagram.

What was once an interesting peek into my friend's mostly boring lives had become a competition for who was eating the most authentic Italian that week or who was having the most intentional experience or who was standing in front of famous landmarks most often and let me tell you, it was absolutely never me. And that made me feel pretty bad about myself after a while. I mean, wtf was I doing?

Scrolling through Instagram, that's what.

So my therapist and I made a plan to help me get off Instagram and dive back into my own life with the hope that it would help brighten my mood and give myself a greater appreciation of my own experiences. According to a U.K. based study, I'm not the only millennial dealing with depression and anxiety induced by Instagram's tendency to make users feel like they're not living up to the supposedly exciting lives of their peers.

Here's the steps I took and how they're helping me.

Delete the App

At first, I thought that I should delete Instagram altogether. But, as my therapist pointed out, having drastic, impulsive reactions in an effort to cure my life of anxiety and depression isn't a sustainable way to solve problems. Instead, she suggested that I practice some self control and just give myself a break by deleting the app from my phone which is where I usually accessed Instagram from.

Why it Helps

This was my first step in cleansing some of the bad juju that I was getting from that filtered world. It really did help - while I'd habitually tap the screen where the icon used to appear I'd find the space replaced by my meal-planning app that I'd never even opened after first downloading it. On the first day I'd deleted Instagram I was digging into meal-planning and ordering ingredients for stuffed sweet potatoes and vegan pizza, something I would have been too distracted by Instagram to do before.

What real life adventures and memories are you missing out on trying to curate the perfect Insta story?

What real life adventures and memories are you missing out on trying to curate the perfect Insta story?

"Forget" Your Password

To keep myself from logging back into Instagram while I was working on my computer I went into the settings and changed my password to a super random set of numbers and letters that I wrote on a sticky note and tucked into my desk drawer. I can still login if I really, really want to (say after my cousin gets married in Hawaii next month so I can check out all of her lush photos) and then I can logout again. Each time I want to login, I'll have to dig that sticky note back out and type in the impossible-to-remember password.

Why it Works

More than once since doing this I've stopped myself, stuck the note back in my drawer and spent my break from working drinking a glass of water and going through the pile of mail on my counter instead. Two things that are way better for me than staring at yet another screen in an attempt to wind down.

Make Sure Your Contacts are Updated

I didn't realize how often I defaulted to Instagram as a form of communication with my nearest and dearest.

Why it Works

Since deleting the app I'm texting my mom more often and having actual conversations with my best friend instead of just liking her photos in the feed.

[It became] a competition for who was eating the most authentic Italian that week or who was having the most intentional experience or who was standing in front of famous landmarks most often and let me tell you, it was absolutely never me.

Give Yourself a Couple of Days Off

When you first delete the app you might think it's time to start changing your life. I did. But my therapist cautioned me against signing up for a 4K (just kidding I would never do that, but you get what I'm saying) in the afterglow of ridding myself of toxic social media.

Instead, she asked me to take the weekend off to putz around and explore the things that bring actual meaning to my life and to report back at the start of the week.

Why it Works

Here's what I learned about myself with all of my newfound time:

  • I really like brushing my cats. I know it sounds weird but they sit by me longer when they're being brushed, it's calming and when I'm done I feel accomplished and happy that I took some time out to care for my pets.
  • I eat too much candy. My mom has this habit of sending me home with those fun-sized bags of candy after our visits and though this is adorable, I would sit and munch that bag of candy while perusing influencers on the beach and berating my own bikini-bod (or lack thereof). By swearing off Instagram I eliminated two toxic habits at once: Comparing my body to unrealistic images and mindlessly eating because I was bored/bummed.
  • I have no interest in becoming a fitness influencer. On day two of no Instagram I thought maybe I'd try out some Kayla Itsines and start one of those My Journey to Buff accounts but after halfway throwing up after three burpees I decided that is not my life path.

Put a Magazine Rack in Your Bathroom and Get a Print Magazine Subscription

At least 45% of my Instagram scrolling happened on the toilet. It's just convenient.

Why it Works

With a thrift store magazine rack and an armful of Cosmopolitan back issues I now have a year's worth of screen-free toilet reading material to keep me company on the potty.

There's more to do on the toilet than watch more of Teddy Geiger's many, many stories.

There's more to do on the toilet than watch more of Teddy Geiger's many, many stories.

Invest in a Couple Fidget Toys for Your Bag

Another place I found myself gazing empty-eyed at a steady stream of avocado-inspired recipes was in waiting rooms. I really hate those places.

Why it Works

I brought along this labyrinth ball maze to keep my mind and my eyes occupied. Instead of nerving me up the way social media does, I felt chilled right out by the time they called me back to get my teeth cleaned.

Create Two New Daily Habits

One of the things that always made me feel bad about myself while poking around Instagram is how productive and focused everyone else there seemed to be. While that's easy to fake on social media, I really did want to find a way to be more productive and focused in my own life. As it turns out, the best way to do that was to just get off Instagram.

Why it Works

With my extra time and brain space I took on two, nearly effortless habits each morning - taking a walk to my mailbox and drinking a glass of water before hopping in the shower. These two seemingly stupid, pointless things start my day with fresh air, a touch of sunshine and hydration before I've even had breakfast.

I thought maybe I'd try out some Kayla Itsines and start one of those My Journey to Buff accounts but after halfway throwing up after three burpees I decided that is not my life path.

What to Do with Your Free Time Once You've Let Go of Instagram

Create a List of Short Term Goals

Once I was detoxed from my social media habits it was time to create a list of short term goals to share with my therapist. She stressed the need to not create goals that would give me a ton of anxiety trying to achieve, like mastering a major lifestyle change in less than a month. Instead we came up with:

  • Clean out my nightstand on Sunday nights, the place where all loose mail, receipts and paperwork end up when I'm just too lazy to make it to the trash can.
  • Call my brother at least once a week. Connecting with my brother, checking in to hear how his job is going and listening to his hilarious dating misadventures halfway across the country has brought me closer to him than stalking his Instagram account ever did.
  • Go out to lunch with my mom. My anxiety makes it stressful for me to make plans. It's weird, but if you have anxiety, you get what I'm saying. Making a plan with my mom and following through on it really boosted my confidence.

Come Up With One Really Big Long Term Goal

When you're ready, come up with a long term goal that makes you just as excited as it made you sad to watch other people following their own dreams on Instagram. For me, that was creating a body of work that would eventually become my first book of poetry, something I've always wanted to do but never felt like I had enough time or focus to do.

When you come up with this goal, whatever it is, keep track of it not only to hold yourself accountable but to show yourself how much progress you're making. It may not be a profile full of pretty, curated posts but it's a real-life effort to love yourself enough to chase the things that mean something to you whether you can eek an Instagram post out of it or not!

Instagram Bumming You Out?

Questions About Deleting Instagram App

Can I still check my Instagram DMs even if I don't have the app?

Yes and no. You can't check your Instagram messages without an app, but it doesn't have to be the Instagram app. An app called Bluestack will also let you check your DMs. If you're looking to just check your messages through the web or on your computer browser you won't be able to do that.

Does Instagram actually make you unhappy?

Yes, it really does. As Influencer and travel/beauty blogger Sara Melotti attests to in this post for her blog, Behind The Quest, Instagram puts forth a false reality. We consume it without recognizing the consequences because it's so convenient and attainable - we don't have to spend money to do it and it's accessible whenever our phone is within reach (which is, you know, always).

If I delete the Instagram app do I lose all of my photos?

No, if you delete the app, you'll still have your photos as long as you're not deleting your actual account which you would have to go to Account Settings to do.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Em Clark

Comments

Sneha on September 14, 2020:

So true. To me it's toxic in all ways. Watching curvy women with perfect assets , glowing skin , fancy dresses .People enjoying parties with their so many friends at a fancy bar , or a resort , or just munching on street food.People traveling and maintaining a beautiful and aesthetic instagram profile . Then there are diverse political and religious opinions that just get you frustated , the constant urges to post your political opinions that don't match with those of your besties , and there occurs an 'ig story war'. War in terms of opinions , jokes , and pictures.... More than being a platform to share your art and exprese yourself, Iy has become a race of who does it better , who us cooler.ugh!!!!!

Sergio3361 on April 23, 2020:

I try to do what nobody does on instagarm,post my real life,my shiity moments n barely good moments jeje...but yet sometimes i wish someone felt like me,shiity,,,, like finallly seeing a person thats always happy having a miserable moment for once,cus i feel is not real,how can u be happy all the time without worries,without sadness or angriness,those feelings and moods are normal compare to other ppl is like oh my god like they never felt sad angry in their life,i mean is normal to feel unhappy or sad